I was watching Priti Patel ride-along with a police raid like 3 months ago. It was dark so I'm guessing it was quite early in the morning and the operation was going down deep in the Modern Urban Environment / 'miscellaneous crappy inner city area' where her crew were going to seriously bust up some County Lines drug biz.
Priti was All Ghillied Up in a bullet-proof vest and flanked by loads of her police bois. They were equipped with tactical gear, cool hats, guns, and the round tube hammer thing they use to breach doors. A reporter questioned one of the police, insinuating that the whole thing was some bullshit press photo-op.
"No way, man, Priti's legit," the police replied. (I'm paraphrasing.) "I've had previous Secretary of State's come on a raid just once in their entire term. That's a photo-op. Priti's been on 5 this year. She just loves fucking shit up."
Priti Patel seems like a pretty chill bro. I was watching an interview with her yesterday where she was asked what her plans were over Christmas. Is she onboard with Boris' 5 Day Festive Period Twat-Around? Will she be seeing her family?
"I will be on call," she said. "I will also be visiting my police bois on the front-line because crime never sleeps and neither does The Prit. Once my duties are done I will be having a small family gathering with my core peeps."
Seems kind of decent of her.
She's also been called out for bullying in the workplace, to which she offered no excuse. "Yeah I bully a motherfucker - so what? Don't be a dweeb."
Most people would've resigned but Priti Patel is like, "No."
Most people would've resigned but Priti Patel is like, "No."
Wikipedia states that she is:
- Down with getting rid of the smoking ban. 😀😀
- Cool with capital punishment. 😮😮
- Not cool with gay marriage. 😕😕
- Not cool with Extinction Rebellion. 🐢👎
- Not cool with BLM. ✊🏿👎
There's also some stuff about Israel, but unfortunately I do not understand the situation nor am I willing to learn.
At the start of this post I thought Priti Patel seemed like a pretty chill bro; what's not to like about a 4'4" woman straight up busting heads for the lols? Unfortunately, during my investigations I have learned that she is 'a bit mental' and this blog will not be endorsing her for any situations nor for any future co-branding opportunities and that decision is absolutely final, y'all.
You dun goofed, Patel. You dun goofed.
What would you do if The Prit smashed your door / face in?
I think a cool catchphrase for her post-arrest could be, "You're pretty fucked now, hey?" (Not really a question.)
I think she has a right potty-mouth but I'm not really basing that on anything. (Not really a question.)
If you were being bullied in the workplace would you:
a) Complain to middle management?
b) Lock yourself in the toilet and 'hope that it will all go away'?
c) Take time off for emotional distress / get free money?
d) Rap battle [via 8 Mile factory lunch break scene]?
If you were being bullied in the workplace would you:
a) Complain to middle management?
b) Lock yourself in the toilet and 'hope that it will all go away'?
c) Take time off for emotional distress / get free money?
d) Rap battle [via 8 Mile factory lunch break scene]?
Should I re-open negotiations for exciting co-branding opportunities between Priti and iamawaingyourereading? I was thinking about a cool suit made out of words. Or a biscuit tin.
I have composed this delicate and vulnerable Haiku now:
Priti.
Petite warrior princess.
Draped in your armour of a nice suit,
and military assault vest.
iamawaitingyourereading © 2020
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