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Tuesday 5 May 2015

30_SOMETHING: VOTING

(30_SOMETHING is an emotional new feature where we examine our situation as self aware adults IRL.)

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From what I understand there are several ways to change the world, ranging from sending a strongly worded email to your local MP to detonating a nuclear device in the modern urban environment [via Call of Duty: Modern Warfare]. In the middle of these 2 extremes is casting your vote in the upcoming election. 


How would y'all rate the probability of y'all voting in the upcoming election, where 1 is 'no effing way' and 10 is 'defo because we're all in this together'?

The average iamawaitingyourereading reader is self aware enough to score between 1 and 3. This is really great news. Unfortunately, casting your vote has become synonymous with Bikram Yoga / gluten free flapjacks in that you're simply trying too hard to curate your personal brand :-[

"We must remain sceptical,
of all political parties.
The best way to solve a problem is to ignore it." - A delicate Haiku / call to arms © 2015





Q&A
What would convince you to vote?
a) Legal requirement [via oppressive South American legislation]?
b) Money? (£5 for your vote. £10 bonus for signing up a friend.)
c) Battle Royale / Hunger Games style deathmatch between political parties?
d) 1 months free council tax?
e) Tangible results?
f) Marvel Vs Labour Vs Conservative crossover?
(The correct answer is b) Money. Check your answer to see how you scored.)
Should there be an age limit (40+) on voting as The Kids clearly don't understand the situation?
Is voting the illusion of choice?
Should both political parties admit that they're 'basically the same thing' and agree to disagree?

Y'all. Our opportunity to make a serious diff is now; we must march on parliament demanding £20 an hour minimum wage, free 4G mobile internets, immediate abolishment of outrageous torrent site blocks, basic human rights / multiple MP3 downloads, no schools, 3 day working week, no builders, no wind, and simultaneous releases on console and PC. We must also have our travel costs to get to London reimbursed within 30 days. 

x
(1 kiss.)