SUPER ADVANCED COMICS - HEAVEN

(This is Heaven. Obvs God is in the middle and he's joined by the popular religious animals an angel and 1 pegasus. The words say, "God bless all of y'all." Let's see what inspired this piece hmmm?) 

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Y'all. 
You may remember yesterday when we got really vulnerable, thinking about life / death and what will happen to us when our metaphorical meme cycle comes to an end. 
Do y'all ever wonder what will happen to y'allselves when you die?

Unfortunately, I do not understand people who are 'into' religion, nor am I willing to learn - but if I had to guess - I would say that heaven is 100% like the above image.

Gtg.
I must like as many religious Facebook Pages as I can to 'cover my bases' / ass when I try to ascend up to heaven.
Just thinking (typing) out loud here - but do you think that cyberbullying / piracy will get me into trouble with Caucasian Jesus / Buddha?
#worried.

YOU AND YOUR ETERNAL SITUATION

Y'all. 

Yesterday was really windy so I 'worked from home'. Y'all know the score - browsing torrent sites, social networking, posting selfies, and other equally important 1st World situations.

Unfortunately, I didn't get much work done, but then there's always tomorrow. But what about when there is no tomorrow?

!

:-O amazed-face.

From what I understand, I will 1 day die :-( sadface. All of the content which makes me, 'me' will come to an end (other than the memes which I leave behind on the internet, which will of course be around forever - and children - which are the biological ambassadors / torchbearers of you and your situation.)

As y'all know, I have sooo many demands on my time, so I cannot spare any time to dedicate myself to BS time-sinks like religion. 

Need results NOW.

Cannot be effed to invest time in longterm fruityloop hobbies like Christianity / 1 of the several Brown Religions.

Q&A

Do any of y'all know wtf happens to us after we 'pass away'?

Unfortunately, I have not researched the issue, but I would guess that the following eventualities are possible - listed from 'best' to 'worst case' scenario:

a) Heaven: A stable highspeed broadband connection, <3 love, animals, MP3s, paid sick days, HD movies, and an open bar for y'all and y'alls friends? 

b) Purgatory: Loads of grey and beige, data capped broadband / 'fair usage' policy, platonic spooning, eating pasty slop food like Robocop policeman?

c) Nothing: _____.

d) Poland: 24/7 mandatory turnip parties?

e) Hell: Dial up internet connection on a 'piece of shit' AMD K6 desktop PC which has sooo many spywares (and also there are rivers of fire (and torture))?  

Does anyone know of any churches which offer free wireless network connections?
Does anyone know if, in addition to protecting Caucasians, God also welcomed dinosaurs into the afterlife? (This seems like a very irresponsible and potentially volatile situation if it is true, which could deteriorate at a moments notice, creating a public relations nightmare similar to the major motion picture - Jurassic Park.)  

Does anyone know why so many religious men play sillybuggers with children / play Jack Johnson MP3s on crappy nylon string acoustic guitars brought from eBay?

Sooo many unanswered questions about #religion.
Defo need to become more religious for the 3rd and 4th quarters of 2013.

At the start of this post I was feeling very scared about the future and my eternal situation, but now I'm feeling okay about everything :-) happyface. 

Might just repent all my sins at the end (of #life) and hope for the best.

Good luck out there, everyone.
"God bless all of y'all."

<3 (heart symbol.)

RELIGION VS SCIENCE

Seems like it’s pretty legit to cyberbully / bully / point and laugh at any nig who’s ‘into’ religion. 

From what I understand, thousands of years ago it was pretty kewl to be into religion and cyberbully / bully / ‘murder’ any nig who was ‘into’ science.

Sort of feel like the hunter has become the hunted and the whole situation has been reversed. The persecution that religious niggas inflicted upon the science kids back in the day is now the other way round, and the science kids are persecuting the religious niggas.

Seems like there's a lot of metaphorical 'caps going into asses' (aka gang violence).

IDK whether to:

• Try to escalate the situation.
• Try to calm the situation.
• Become a member of #teamreligion.
• Become a member of #teamscience.
• Try to support my local church (with a charity skydive).
• Try to destroy my local church (with science ((with a nuclear weapon)).

FEELING SO #CONFUSED :-( SADFACE.

There are so many Pages promoting the science and ‘making fun’ of the religion on the Facebawks that my News Feed creaks under the weight. 

It is easy to look at the situation and think, "Fuck."

Maybe it’s because the majority of the Cool Kids are ‘into’ science and education and stuff? It’s like a mob mentality?

“Diversity is destroying us. We (as a species) must all agree on a subject as one and then brutally 'stamp out' any conflicting opinions.” - Some Jerkoff

If YOU met someone and they said that they were into Jesus would YOU sort of feel as though they were ‘a fucking asshole’?

If they were a man, I would think that they were a sexual predator or had been ‘touched’.

If they were a woman, I would think that they were from a strict, patriarchal household where the parents love was dished out only as a reward for achieving correct grades at school. She would be plain to look at, but you would sort of think that she would go ‘completely crazy’ in the bedroom (during sex). She would probably like mail-order clothing and probably enjoy drinking alcohopops (the Smirnoff Ice, the Reef, the WKDside) as it would ‘free her’ and mentally carry her away from a mundane life in the Midlands to a life of dizzy excitement in Las Vegas (because of the bright colours and sugar content).

We digress.

So, sort of feel like it’s now ‘acceptable’ to metaphorically ‘look down’ on people who are into Jesus and the Magical Jew God. 

“Why can we not just get along?
Why can we not just agree to disagree?
(But secretly know that we are right,
and that the other person is a ‘stupidhead?)’” – An Appeal for Compassion and Understanding on Earth

From what I understand, when some nigga invented the world being round he was laughed at by the religious people and called ‘something hurtful’.

But now, when some nigga says, “I believe that the world was made in 7 days / Noah’s Ark situation / Mosses Vs Sea / Papa Adam & Mama Eve-broad / Brb Jesus Resurrection / etc," we all think that they are retarded. 

Can we not just all get along? :-) happyface. 

Do you know anyone who's 'into' religion?

Is there something 'very queer' about them?

Is it problematic to sleep with some religious broad, as you're always going to be in direct competition with Papa G and probs won't measure up?

Was the world made in 7 days - or is that probs not true?

I think that the only good thing that has come from religion is the nun costumes and the light bondage accessories in Ann Summers, but what do YOU think?

I think that the only good thing that has come from science is Internets, but what do YOU think?

<3 heart symbol.