2012 SITUATIONS

2012. You were the chosen one. The year the Mayan calender foretold serious business and the end of the world. The skies would darken. The rivers would run dry. Dog photos would appear on the internet.

I don't host dog photos on this site.
Here is a photo of my cat.

As I look back over the year, my penis is partially erect and partially flaccid. It's mostly erect. But what has 'made' the year? What have been the best and worst bits of the year?

Come. Take my hand, friend. Let's find out.

iamawaitingyourereading SEMI-PROUDLY PRESENTS

#BEST AND #WORST THINGS OF 2012

# BEST_IN_LOLS: 'I Can Count to Potato' Meme Goes Viral (Again)
Where to draw the line drawn in the pursuit of nutritious lols?

'Silly thing is that this situation was all done and dusted. The internet hate machine had already processed this content back in 2008 / 2009. It was satisfied. It slumbered. And then in 2012, around we go again. Long story short, her mum found out that her daughter's image was being used in the meme and went to the newspapers with the story. Internet scholars are unsure about what she was hoping to achieve. To 'delete' the pictures from the internet? To get great justice against 'the internet trollers / cyber bullies'? Anyways, the story shone the light of day into the darker corners of the internet and it disturbed the beast. The beast woke up.
     'Yes,' the internet hate machine says. 'I remember that. It was funny. Let us do it again.'

(See Streisand Effect for moar info.)

It split our entire species down the middle. Bro turned on bro. Families were divided. News Feeds were blocked.

Here is a flow chart I made to explain this situation. I'm not sure who was right or wrong, but there was definitely a situation:

Special Mention: Kony 2012. 
Never was so much (lols) owed by so many (trolls) to so few (bedroom activists / busy bodies / rallying cries in 140 characters or less).


# WORST_IN_LOLS (ANTILOLS): Jimmy Savile
:( sadface.

And no lols were had that day; it was the lolocaust. Okay, so some people dressed up as him for Halloween - and maybe someone at work who you think is 'kind of weird' and 'a bit of a dick' tried to tell you a joke about it once - but no one's heart was really in it, you know? It was a bit too close to home. Too real. Too sad. :( sadface. :'( sadface with tear. Moving on.


# BEST_IN_FILM: Prometheus
It is not a prequel to Alien, even though we market it as exactly that. It is a 'spiritual successor' or a 'precursor'. If you 'get' Prometheus then you are an intelligent consumer.

Was it the best film of the year? No, of course not. It made no fucking sense, it was massively over-hyped, and it had moar plot holes than Twin Peaks had ambiguous. But, man - what a ride. It was the first time that I've been genuinely excited for a film in years. It was an event.

Did you know that it originally wasn't anything to do with the Alien franchise? Back in the day, it was penned as an 'Origin of the species' / 'Is God real?' / 'Deep and meaningful circlejerk for post-grads'. I'm not a cinematographer, but I think the converstation went something like this:

     Writer Bro: "This is an incredibly visceral and tactile exploration of the creation of Man."
     Company Bro: "That sounds pretty gay to me. What about adding some aliens and shit?"
     Writer Bro: "What? No. No, that's not the story I want to tell."
     Company Bro: "Definitely needs more aliens. Maybe explosions, too."

That's why the Alien plot seems tacked on. This blog is informative.


# WORST_IN_FILM: The Dictator
It is okay for Sacha to make jokes about minorities because Sacha is a minority. If you do not 'get' that then you are a racist, and a chauvinist, and a Hitler.

I have pretty thick skin when it comes to the lols. I used to work at a shop once and I served an old woman some Sherbet Lemons. She fell over - like a frail, beige and cashmere tree. I dropped her change down over the counter and thanked her for her custom. But I actually had to stop watching this film halfway through because it offended me.

I don't even know who the shit this film was made for. What was it's purpose? What was it trying to say? If you're not white, you are a double nigger? If you're a woman, you are a) an idiot or b) a lesbian or c) a cumdumpster? If you're poor, no one cares? If you're rich, you are immoral? The film just snarled and snapped at everyone, like a rabid badger.

Special Mention: Ted
Bros said it was just like Family Guy but IRL. And with a teddy bear.

 "It's just like Family Guy but in real life. And with a teddy bear." - A Bro


# BEST_IN_MUSIC: Electro Music / Breathy Vocals / Drum Machines
Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop Bleep Bloop

It's been a massive, massive year for electronic music. Bands like Little Dragon, Grimes, Phantogram, SBTRKT, and Chromatics have been my entry into it. It's been a great trip. I've lerned a lot. But what I've lerned the most is that at the core of every electronic band isn't talent. It isn't art. It isn't memes or buzz. It isn't how many 'likes' they have on Facebook or how many followers they have on Twitter. It's this:

A beautiful, beautiful synthesiser. So many plinky plonk. So many bleep bloop. Thanks, 2012. <3 heart symbol.


# WORST_IN_MUSIC: Nicki Minaj
They say, what they gonna say? Have a drink, clink, found the Bud Light. Bad bitches like me, is hard to come by.

I went though this earlier in the year. Nothing has changed. Maybe it just got worse.


# BEST_IN_GAMING: X-Com Enemy Unknown
Can you protect the world from a mysterious alien menace? You will have to defeat mysterious aliens, mysterious alien weaponry, and game-breaking bugs and glitches :( sadface.

'Best game I've played in ages. I don't play a lot of games anymore, due to getting lean, travelling and shit, and drawing super advanced comics. But I dusted off my Ecksbawks and fought the good fight. X-Com is a remake of a popular Windows PC game from the mid 1990's. It was fucking sweet then. It's fucking sweet now but with moar graphics. (OMG it had so many graphics.) It's a RTS, which stands for Real Time Strategy. Excellent game.


# WORST_IN_GAMING: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Insert Star Wars related joke here. ('This is not the game you're looking for,' or 'What a piece of junk,' or 'Nooooooo!' or 'It's a trap.' etc)

I don't even play this game anymore. I haven't played this game for months. But I still check the gaming sites for coverage of it. Why? Because it's the singlemost shambolic waste of potential / a franchise / internets since the invention of potential / a franchise / internets. It let down the internet. It's a lollercoaster. It sparks so many flamewars its a fucking goldmine of lols. Within a year it had hemorrhaged players, cut staff numbers, the management resigned, the company's shares fell - it let down everybody. 

Did you know that this game cost $200 - $300 million to make? Did you know it's basically World of Warcraft, but in space and not good? Not at all. Star Wars TOR is a MMORPG, which stands for Massively Multiplayer Circlejerk OTI for People Who Don't Like People IRL. Awful. Just awful.

The internet calls it TORtanic. Like Titanic, innit haha lol. This blog is informative. You're welcome. I love you.


CONCLUSION:

2012 has been a good year. Personally it's treated me real tender, like a sensual massage between lovers - maybe with candles and incense sticks and shit.

I have a great life. 'Great friends. 'Great job.

I'm happy. A few of my peers are settled down and grown up now. Some have kids. Some are married. Serious business. It might be what they want, but it's not what I want. Not yet. Not until I find someone special *.

What's the alternative? I see people in relationships they shouldn't be in anymore. People who have outgrown one another, or got back with people they shouldn't have, or just passively aggressively hate one another. Stale, loveless, content, and dull. Like when you have a marathon of  _________________ (insert TV Series / film franchise here) every other night of the week. Eating too much junk food. Not having enough sex. Content.

I've been there and done that. It's not living. I'd rather be single for the rest of 2013 than stumble back into that.

So - thanks, 2012. Love you, 2012. Hate you, 2012. Miss you, 2012.


* (A woman. Despite that sentence sounding gay.)

IF AN INDIE FALLS IN THE FOREST AND NO ONE IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?

Is indie music dying? Did indie music already dead?

As you know - I always ask the tough questions and I don't rest until I bring you the truth. It's my blessing. It's my curse.

Hullo, the internet. My name is Adam and today I'd like to talk to you about indie music.


# INDIE_IRL

Opposite where I work is a rare sight. As rare as a wrinkle on Courtney Cox's soft, acyclic-like skin. As rare as an Asian girl with a slightly lighter shade of jet black hair. It's an antique. A dinosaur. It's an independent record shop. An anonymous bro says that in 10 years time you're moar likely to see Jesus than an independent record shop.

What about Jesus in an independent record shop?
Fuck, man. Mind = Blown.

"In 10 years time you're moar likely to see Jesus than an independent record shop." - Anonymous Bro

Resident displays a sign saying, 'Winner. Best Independent Record Shop.' Current. Edgy. Kewl. Alt. But then there's only like 3 independent record shops left in the world, so that's sort of like winning the Special Olympics. It's like winning a war when the other side doesn't even show up.

WE ARE #1
(#deathofmusic #leantimes #internetpiracyfundsterrorism)

Anyways, they display another sign about their album of the year. It's post-internet, electro-soundscaping, plinky-plonky, urban-elf-and-possible-sexy-bitch-but-I'm-not-sure - Grimes. Now, a lot of cool people say that Grimes is just a hawt girl with bangs and a bunch of bleep bloop machines.

Pictured: A hawt girl with bangs.
(No bleep bloop machines.)

"Grimes is just a hawt girl with bangs and a bunch of bleep bloop machines." - A Cool People.

Is this the most Indiest Thing of 2012 Evar ™? Is Grimes 'current'? Is Grimes 'alternative'? Do you 'get' her? Would you have sexual intercourse with Grimes on a bed of synths and then maybe take her to see a very current live band, or would you take her to see a very current live band and then have sex with her on a bed of synths? Tough questions. Tough questions.

'Thing is, her music's good. I like it. She has an excellent ratio of obscure breathy vocals + plinky ploky beeb beebs = album of the year.

But is this really the best that indie music can muster? In a year? A whole year?

Is indie music dying? Did indie music already dead?


# THE_SCENE

My friend was doing merch for some band last month. ('Not sure why.) So I went with him so soak up the local scene. To be seen in the scene.

You can tell this song's about feelings,
because he has a tambourine.

Anyways, the band was not good. Not at all. They were like Vocal Harmony Core. Or Post BeetBoxx. Or Chill Cool Dad Rock. (I don't know if any of them are real genres. Probably.) Think 4 bros. 2 bros on acoustic guitar singing about emotions and doing 90's boyband harmonies. 1 soggy-dicked, sasquatch-looking mofo bro on bass. And 1 bro with 1337 beat boxing skills, like one of those X Factor contestants who's edgy because he has 1337 beat boxing skills.

"I first started beat boxing 'cosv of my deep and serious psychological problems. #sexual_abuse, y'all :( sadface. But it's cool and shit, because now I have mad skills 4 realsies." - X Factor Contestant

Is this indie? Is indie music dying? What's the best way to be seen in the scene?

Maybe it's the difference between professionals and amateurs. Maybe all these up and coming cookie-cutter indie bands just need to shhh and mine a thick new vein of untapped music. Maybe we have enough bands. Maybe we don't need any more bands.

It's sort of like Pepsi Max. Pepsi are established. Professional. Pepsi make sweet, sweet Pepsi Max out of secret ingredients and aspartame. (People say aspartame is bad for you because it makes you forget things - but that's the reason I drink diet cola; to forget all of the horrible things that I saw in the war, to forget all of the bad decisions that I've made, and to forget all of the breasts that I've seen with that wonky areolar.) Pepsi are consistent. Professional.

I DRINK TO FORGET!
I DRINK TO FORGET!!!1

Now, say that a pair of bros turn to one another and are all like, 'Hey, bro. Do you think that we should make our own unique-as-a-snowflake brand of diet cola?'
   The other bro turns to the first bro.
   'Yes, bro,' he says. 'Yes  we should totes do that, bro.'

The thing is - the amateur bros can't make good diet cola. They just copy the ingredients from existing diet colas, put the mix in the diet cola making machine, and hope for the best.


# INDIE_CLUB_NIGHTS

So, I went to this indie night at a club on the sea front and in the smoking area I saw this kid say to another kid, "I'll pop you, nigger." (He was white. Obviously.) At first, I was sort of like 'meh,' and then he put his hand into the gun gesture and then I was all like 'whoa,' and then he turned the hand making the gun gesture 90 degrees (like a rap man) and then I was all like 'Fuck. This kid is actually going to pop that other kid with his hand gun."

Is this indie? Do you vibe to this?

They play Smells Like Some Teen Spirit by The Nirvanas. Now, I don't even think that counts as indie. By indie, do they just mean alternative? Kewl? Alt?

If we could harness the power from the speed that Kurt Cobain's spinning in his grave, then we could solve the fossil fuel dependency.

Smoking will be the death of you, Kurt.

# INDIE_OTI

"If it is made. If it is digital. It can be pirated." - Pirate / Cyber Criminal

There's nothing on Gods Green Earth which cannot be stolen with enough internets. Maybe this is the main malfunction with indie as an industry.

Chances are that if you're an indie band, then your target audience knows where to find your album OTI (and where to steal it). Yes, they might go and they might 'buy the actual CD' if they like it. (They won't buy it.) Yes, they might come and see you live if they like it. (If you tour near them, or are on the bill at a relevant and current and #alt festival.) Yes, they might buy some merch. (If they ever send me that Little Dragon T Shirt I that ordered like 2 fucking months ago - get your act together, assholes.)

Look at the Billboard Top 200. 'Top 5 are:

• Red - Taylor Swift (I think she's like the woman from the Coyote Ugly Moonlight song, but moar sluttier.)

• Trouble Man - T.I. (I literally have no idea who the shit this is. It's a sweet Marvin Gaye song, though.)

• Unorthodox Jukebox - Bruno Mars (Again, no idea - but I think that he has a cat on the album cover - so he's legit.)

• Take Me Home - The One Directions (Like Barbie dolls for prepubescent girls. But they're boys. Very clean hair.)

• Christmas - Michael Bubble (A celebration of Easter by a poor man's Sinatra. Possible cunt. Unconfirmed.)

Pictured: Possible cunt. (Unconfirmed.)

These are the 5 albums which have sold the most this year. Are they the best 5 albums of the year? I'm going to go way, way, waaay out on a limb and say, "No." The thing is Granny Fuck who <3's Michael Bubble don't know how to internet. Tina Taataa who <3's Taylor Swift don't know how to internet neither *. If they want to own this music and align their personal brand to the brand of these musicians, then they need to physically go out and by the CD from Asda or hand over those PayPals in exchange for the MP3's from Amazon.

Indie fans (I presume) know how to internet. So the fans steal all the nutritious MP3's. So the indie band gets no £££. :( sadface.

# CONCLUSION

I feel like we've all learned a lot here today but probably not. 

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken, because nothing evolved into an egg. The chicken was inside. 

What's the sound of 1 hand clapping? It's like 'fap fap fap.' Or about half the volume of 2 hands clapping. 

If an indie falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes. It makes the same sound over and over and over again for most of the 2000's - and eventually - people don't want to listen to it any more. We're tired of hearing the same song for 10 years.

But Bloc Party were pretty sweet.

* She's called Tina Taataa because she has small boobs because she's like 10 or something.

LERN 2 INTERNET: IS PIRACY WRONG OR LOL?

I would rather die then watch a downloaded movie or listen to a copied album. That is all.

Actually I don't give a damn because I'm such a damn rad bro, which is just as well otherwise this would be a pretty short post. Let's be real about it - everyone has pirated something or other. People who swear by buying their favourite artists CDs will illegally stream a TV show. People who buy DVD boxsets wont think twice about illegally downloading a whole artists back catalogue. Your parents used to illegally record crap on their VHS players. Even Granny Sadsack and Papa Shrew have lent a book to a friend. We're all pirates. But are we all wrong?

As always, I pride myself on being not very well informed about the specifics or legality of a subject. I just humbly offer you my amazingly insightful insights and some nutritious lols. I also try and shoehorn in jokes about willys, breasts, and some pop culture references.

Here are 5 willys, 2 breasts, and 1 pop culture reference.

In this case though, does anyone even understand what the facts are? What exactly are the cyber police policing? Uploading? Downloading? Streaming? Fair Use Violations? Fuck noes. Does anyone even know someone - directly know someone, not a friend of a friend - who's even gotten themselves into trouble for pirating stuff? No, me neither. These are some seriously serious business questions and together we will explore the arguments for and against. And similarly to when your dad phoned you up drunk at 4am and told you that the day he pretended he was proud of the Most Policies Sold certificate that you were awarded by the call centre was in actuality the saddest day of his life, the truth will come out.

If the cyber police are reading this, I want you to know that I have never, ever downloaded anything in my life and it was all my flatmate.


1) "BUT I PAID FOR X SO ITS OKAY FOR ME TO PIRATE Y"

This is the backbone of many a pirates argument. Last week I watched the major motion picture The Terminator and then I wanted to watch Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Naturally. But I couldn't do that because my copy of the DVD is at my parents house. Disaster. It's also not available to download on Sky Anytime. I've paid for it, so I should be able to download that film from somewhere and watch it, yes? Well, in actual fact, no. The Man sees that as stealing.

I bet The Man sees this as stealing too, even though
 he ain't done nothing! Monsters!

My understanding of the bulk of piracy lawsuits is that it's the making a copy, which will get you into trouble with the FBI or whatnot. The few times that someone has been successfully prosecuted for copywrite violations have been when that someone's uploaded something. So, what do? Yes, you can tell your torrent program to throttle your upload capacity, but then you'll be so far down the list of peers that you'll never get to see if there's any actual quality boobage in Black Swan. (There wasn't. Actual ballache). But if you've already brought a license for a film or whatever, then why can't you watch that sonofabitch whenever you want to? Now I'll never know if Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be back" in Terminator 2, unless I go to my stupid parents stupid house.

The other flavour of this argument normally tastes like this. This guy who totally wasn't me went to the cinema with some friends to go see the major motion picture Prometheus. Now this guy (we'll call him, Butch Tomahawk. He's really handsome and cool) had to pay £10.50 to get a ticket, £1 for the stoopid 3D glasses, but - don't worry - because he totally saved money on the Odeon Combo Deal, where a popcorn and a coke are only £7.50. Amazing savings are amazing. My maths isn't great but that's nearly £20 just to go to the cinema. Now Butch was really chilled out about this (he's really laid back and cool, ladies) and figured it sort of breaks even on a long enough timeline because he streamed the last 2 seasons of Game of Thrones for free.

This guy's legit.

Other variations include:

• "Well, I brought their first album, so I'm pirating this one."
• "Well, I went to see them live once, so I'm downloading all their stuff."
• "Well, I paid for the content on VHS or some other format, so I'm pirating a digital copy."
• (Butch even reckons that he's justified in pirating stuff because he thinks that council tax is too high. What a maverick!)

The running theme here is this sense of entitlement. I want this. I deserve this. It's wrong, but tbh, fairplay to the unwashed masses on this one. We all work damn hard for our money and it doesn't go very far. So if there's a wealth of free media just a click away, get your grubby little paws all over it. Just don't waste your time on Black Swan, okay? PROTIP: Natalie Portman is far more slutty in that Closer film.


2) "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE EXCITING NEW BANDS?!!!1"

Fuck them. Do we really, really need moar stupid bands? I think after Grace, Jeff Buckly pretty much /thread on music. True story. I don't care about exciting new bands who pretty much all sound the same and all look the same and are all pretty much shit.

An actual Cool New Band or a generic stock photo of
an imaginary Cool New Band? Who knows.

I feel bad for them, truly. Some are fantastic, genuinely talented, and passionate like a poem between lovers. And in another time and another place they would've blown up. But these days exciting new bands are everywhere. I draw retarded-looking cartoon animals on boxes for a living. I'm the only one who does this in the street that I trade out of. Business is good. Now imagine if that street had like 20 other jerkoffs all drawing retarded-looking cartoon animals on boxes. It's a finite market. There're only so many drawing's of retarded-looking cartoon animals on boxes that customers need.

Or look at it this way - if you knew that you'd be spending days and days working on something that your customers could steal right off the internets in less time then it's taken you to read this sentence, then you need to rethink the viability of your trade. The light at the end of the tunnel for musicians came with live shows. But I'm sure that I read somewhere that ticket revenues are down on previous years. There's just too much music. And when the bulk of it sounds like variations on a theme, then it's even harder to be heard. I think that all the bands just need to STFU and be put in cages to fight to the death like a cockfight. Like a Pokemon battle, but with weapons and stuff. I'd pay for a ticket to go and see that gig.

"$20 on the skinny crybaby with the sadface,
shiny hair, and tight jeans!"

Obviously, my friends who're in bands are an exception to this and I have the utmost belief, love, and respect for them. Genuinely.


3) IF YOU PAY NOTHING FOR SOMETHING THEN IT HAS NO VALUE

This is a heavy concept but bear with me. Cast your mind back to that feel when you were a kid and you had to save up to buy a CD or a video. I remember I saved up for this animated Street Fighter 2 film on VHS. I remember it well because my dad had to double-park outside Woolworths and we had a big row about it, but far moar importantly, Chun Li got her breasts out in some shower scene. I mean, they were cartoon breasts - but any port in a storm, amirite? I also saved up to buy a George Michael tape (I didn't have a lot of sex at high school). Anyways, I played both of those to death, man. I played that album Older so much that the tape warped towards the end and started playing the track on the other side.

Fast forward a decade. I know people who have gigabytes of music figuratively gathering digital-dust on external harddrives. Half of it never even gets played. The other half is skimmed through. Because you didn't have to pay for it. And because your only investment in it is the time you spent setting up the links or the torrent or whatever, it has no value to you. What do you care if the content is weak and you didn't get your moneys worth? It didn't cost you anything.

"I'm here to download everything and fuck bitches.
And I'm all out of bandwidth."

4) YOU WOULDN'T STEAL FROM A SHOP (BUT YOU TOTALLY WOULD)

What if this shop has absolutely everything you wanted, no walls, no tills, no security, and they delivered? This shop is called, 'internet' (they've got a really thorough adult section too).

That whole thing at the start of older DVDs about, 'you wouldn't steal a handbag, you wouldn't steal a car, etc' - no, you wouldn't do that, because you'd get lynched for the handbag and arrested for the car.

"How do I download a car?"

But It seems as though downloading stuff is pretty much under the radar - as long as you don't go bonkers with it. I have friends who agonise over proxies, p2p blocklists, and private trackers. But then I have other friends to whom the thought of masking their traffic doesn't even cross their mind. They just do whatever the hell they want like Fred Durst, if Fred Durst was all about downloading Family Guy and not all about being the most positive role model for strong, white males the world over.

I wonder what it's truly like to be the bad man,
to be the sad man, Behind Blue Eyes.

5) THE CONTENT DISTRIBUTORS ARE ALL HITLER Q__Q

In my adult life, I've brought 5 copies of Alien. 1 on VHS, 3 on DVD (I lost some), 1 in a boxset, and 1 special edition version in another boxset. That's about 4 too many. By the holy tears of Princess Diana, why am I paying for the same content 5 times? And that's not even the half of it. If you want to download a copy for your phone - pay up. If you want to watch it overseas, you'll need a DVD coded for that region - pay up. We're currently being force-fed Blue Ray, like a kitten getting a thermometer shoved up its bumbum, and I'm like, 'just leave it alone, it's had enough! There's no more room!'

"Grab the cat, I want to listen to that Nirvana boxset."

In a few years it'll be 3D versions. After that, it'll be something where they just copy it directly into your brain like the Matrix or something. I don't know, I'm not a scientist. I don't know any other industry that can get away with selling the exact same content over and over again, other than the entertainment industry.

How many different boxsets, special editions, rare versions, or singles collections have popular musicians released? It's just the exact same situations repackaged and bundled with a bonus track or B-Side ad infinitum. And it's my limited understanding of it that it's not even the artists themselves who're doing it - it's these shady, suited, serious business guys in the background in boardrooms and stuff who are just milking us dry, until our tuts yield only dust.

There are 100 million CDs here.
But only 50 songs.

This is why the bulk of us pirate stuff - because we're sick of paying over and over again.

And when you do buy original content, it's prohibitively expensive. £20 for a trip to the cinema? £50 for a new game for your Ecksbawks or PS3? £30+ for some superduper music boxset, with all the singles evar, a poster, a pin page, a really edgy book of the bass players poetry, and a limited edition photo (maybe in Sepia and stuff)? I got suckered into that one back in the day when I brought a Die Hard boxset with a limited edition film still. Imagine my antilols when I saw the same set around a friends house and the still was exactly the Goddamn same. It's almost like the entertainment industry was taking advantage of me! I digress, the internet offers a much more tempting price for all this content - this price is £0.


CONCLUSION:

Whichever way you look at it, piracy is wrong. It's stealing. Now I'm sure none of us are losing sleep over Chris Martin and Paltrow running out of gold for their Extreme Gold Bar Jenga tournaments with Jay Z and Beyonce, or Jay Kay running out of champane for his champane powered Lamborghini, or Prince William running out of money to keep Kate Middleton in his life - but it does effect up and coming artists and content creators.

Okay, William doesn't do anything, but
would she be with him if he worked at PC World?

But in someways it's levelled the playing field between new artists and established acts. They just have to be creative. Grassroots marketing and viral campains are so successful that it's gone full circle and even conglomerate businesses are copying this promotional strategy. Who could possibly forget this incredibly underground and authentic promotion for the PSP from a fan with absolutely no ties to Sony whatsoever absolutely whatsoever?

Even though the internet united with one voice for one magical moment in time and said, "I'm not sure if this is legit" upon seeing that video - it still got the word out. So was the ad campaign a success or a failure? I think I may be giving Sony too much credit here - that they purposely released that video to get busted, but maybe. Like an ad within an ad within and ad. An Adception, if you will. But maybe.

These days you can just lock yourself away from the world and become a one man music label with just a laptop, a dream, and a bit of talent. You can record everything (probably on pirated software, amirite?), build your fanbase, promote yourself, organise a tour, and sell your content directly to your fans. If you buy a fancy pants HD camera from Prince William at PC World then you can create and film your own movie. If you're a hawt girl, people might even buy your content if you deliver unto them nutritious noodz. People can write books, then completely bypass all the dicking around with agents and publishers, and just sell that Cat: Legend of the Feline book they've been working on in their basement directly via Amazon.

We're all big boys and girls. If you're pirating stuff then it's stealing. You can debate as eloquently as you like that it's not, but it is theft. This truly is the golden age of getting something for nothing. Be careful. But just enjoy it, people.

Sooner or later The Man will figure out how to end the party.

i am awaiting you're reading is honoured to promote a touching true story - Cat: Legend of the Feline.

A touching true story about a young kittens journey into womanhood. Follow this years most celebrated cat as she deals with love, loss, and trying to be all you can be. EBook available from Amazon for a limited time only.


- "Probably the most powerful thing I have ever read. It's a real page-turner. I am amaze."  - CATGURL68

- "This is suitable for autistic children and adults with learning difficulties." - Potato_Counter_Potato

- "What is this I don't even." - supermariobro_16

- "THIS IS FUCKING SH1T LOL" - meme_warrior1337

- "This guy gets it, man. He really gets it." - Bunty_LOL