Enough is enough. Our planet is dying and we must change our behaviour immediately.
At first I was like 'whatevs', but then some goofus had a cardboard sign reading 'THERE IS NO PLANET-B' and I was like 'wow'. I get it now.
What really saddens me is we've been here before. It seems like only yesterday this blog was trying to warn everyone the dangers of climate change with this elegant and clean post. Unfortunately, world leaders are not self-aware nor relevant enough to read snarky blogspots, so we are where we are :-[ sadface.
Let's get real. Top scientists have come up with a series of suggestions and you must pick at least 2 to adopt into your daily life immediately:
Renewable energy.
Cop 26 circlejerk/photo opportunity.
Primitive Skype message from the queen (you look good, bb!)
Cardboard sign.
Detonating a nuclear device over India/crappy miscellaneous brown country to force a reduction in fossil fuel consumption.
You cannot eat _____.
Wear a jumper [via global warming]
Wear a nice hat [via global cooling]
Glue yourself to a road.
Glue yourself to someone glued to a road.
Glue yourself to someone who is glued to someone glued to a road.
I will NOT be responsible for the decimation of our amazing planet >:-[ angryface 😒😒
As soon as I have finished this post I will be throwing my computer into the sea, donating all my stuff to Africa, and I will go and live a net zero existence in a field somewhere. I will survive on a diet of soy and grass and I will also do the yoga.
Fuck the top 1%! Fuck cars!