SUPER ADVANCED COMICS - FINDING NEMO

(In this image the artist explores the major motion picture - Finding Nemo. The words, "I am looking for my son," and, "Why?" are exchanged. Let's see wtf the story is here hmmm?)

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Have y'all seen the major motion picture - Finding Nemo?

From what I understand, it would be 'disastrous' to lose your child / pet fish.

Q&A
Did y'all think that Nemo was 'a spoiled brat' and that, realistically, you would be better off without him / his situation?
What on Earth was up with his fruityloop fin?
Did you know that IRL if the mother Clownfish was murdered then the father Clownfish would change gender, as Clownfish are sequential hermaphrodites / homo?
(I used to work at an aquarium so ^^^ info is legit.)
Was Shark Tale a poorman's Finding Nemo?
Should DreamWorks just come to terms with the fact that they will never overtake Pixar and just try to corner the lucrative 'straight to DVD' market?

IN TODAY'S TOUGH MP3 ECONOMY, DOES HAVING A FRONTWOMAN = MAD BANK? PT 2

(This is Part 2 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Sup, y'all.
?
You may remember this post where we investigated the current MP3 economy in today's modern world. Bands trying to promote a new product for our consumption must do whatever it takes to get THEIR MP3 onto OUR MP3 playing device. 
From what I understand, 'sex sells'; but is this also true of the music industry? Let's not forget that most record labels currently have an annual turnover of between £50 to £100 per annum - if at all - so 'no stone can be left unturned' in the search for money. 
Let's continue, hmmm?

ALL GIRL LINE UP:
(Haim.)
Obviously this act cannot be taken seriously and will forever be judged upon their wardrobe, their attractiveness, and the content of their bras over their MP3s.

1 GUY / ALL GIRL LINE UP: 
(The Hole.)
This situation is very similar to the G&R situation in that it's mainly 'The Courtney <3 Show'. Not sure whether to feel envious or 'glad' that I'm not the 1 guy. #worried.  

GIRL MAJORITY:
(S Club 7.)
Sort of feel that this is a 'scattergun' approach - trying to cover as many bases / tween demographics as possible. (I would like to 'cum' with Tina 7.)

BOY MAJORITY:
(Fleetwood Mac.)
In many ways Papa Mac transcends the traditional gender divide by having several members married to one another. Is this the optimum situation?

1 GIRL / ALL GUY LINE UP:
((Local band) Hero.)
In many ways this is 'The Golden Ticket'. Women can project themselves into the situation ("That could be me.") and men can enjoy #erection.  

ALL BRO LINE UP:
(90% of bands.)
This is 'the meat and 2 veg'. Traditional all-male bands are 'the backbone' of our MP3 economy. Unfortunately, it can be confusing to know which product is which (due to saturation). 
Last night, there were x3 all-male bands; I can't remember any of their names. 
I think one had a number in? :-( sadface. 

Q&A
Which broad from S Club 7 made YOUR special place FEEL?
Should all-male bands outsource some of their touring duties (backing vocals / tambourine / merchandise stand situation) to a woman in order to increase market share?
Should women be allowed to create MP3s or is this the responsibility of men?

CONCLUSION:

We can all agree that online piracy is a victimless crime.
We all have needs, wants, and basic human rights which must be accommodated. MP3s - although not vital to our survival like a stable broadband connection or food - are very important to our survival in today's modern world.
It is completely unacceptable for bands to expect payment in exchange for MP3s; instead they must offer us only their cleanest MP3s so that we may consume them 'a la carte' / Tapas.
Bands must try to monetise their situation by lucrative sponsorship deals / T Shirt sales / fancypants vinyl EP / limited edition trinket.

Women contribute lots to our MP3 economy. 
Come. Let us rejoice:

• Posters to hang in tween bedrooms.
• Emotive vocals (possibly delivered in a whispy, raspy tone or through the reverb machine. These sounds can take us all away from our mundane lives in the cotton fields 'stocking shelves at Tesco' - to a cabin retreat in the Mountains of Idaho, cuddling on a bearskin rug and discussing the very serious situations in Darfur / Afghanistan war).

(This has been Part 2 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Take care of y'allselves.

<3 heart symbol.

UNDERSTANDING THE ECONOMIC DOWNTURN 6

Seems like we've spent over 10 blog years trying to get to the bottom of the Eurozone Crisis / Global Socioeconomic Downturn situation.

I am feeling very :-( sadface that we are still no closer to an answer.

The further we seem to fall 'down the rabbit hole' the more I wonder what lies at the bottom - and in addition - the light at the end of the tunnel grows smaller.

     "What does / did the light look like?" - My son.
     "I cannot remember." - Me.
     "Oh."  - My son.
     "Yes." - Me.

Since the Housing Market / Galactic Economy collapsed towards the 3rd and 4th quarters of 2010 it seems as though nothing has made sense. 
I am :-? confused-face.
#worried about the housing market.
#worried about the 3rd World, Darfur, and Poland (Europe's 3-Legged Family Pet).
#worried about my career and pension fund situation.
#worried about _____.
#worried.

I do my bit for the local community. (Donate 25p - 50p to a trampy. Help an 'old dear' cross the road. Occupy _____. Repost profound Think Pieces / Puff Pieces / confrontational copy from @the_guardian and @the_daily_mail. 
I am planning to get a Henna tattoo reading 'Change.')
Sometimes it seems as though it's all 'a load of old codswallop'. 

I've been planning to change my Facebook profile picture to something confrontational; something that will make average Joe, 'normal people', fucking lemmings, and 9-5 desk jockeys pay attention to ME and MY situation / beliefs. 

These are my selections:

Man With Machine Gun Reading 'Romney.'

Man Shooting Other Man as Gun. 

Soldier-man and Teacher-man.

Bear Sitting on Man situation.

Russian Doll broads.

Policeman Arrests Fat Cat City Banker-man.

Elephant-man Sexually Harasses Obama.






Q&A
Which of ^^^ these will get me the most attention?
Who is Romney-man? (Sort of feel that he's something to do with Canada? Feeling so unself-aware.)
In today's modern world, is it still 'okay' to cybebully Obama - or is that yesterdays news / a lil racist?
Is it fair to drag animals into political comics? From what I understand, animals have no need of money or snarky highbrow circlejerks.
Should #SUPER_ADVANCED_COMICS become more politically active?
Realistically, would we just make things worse?
Have you been laid off from work?
Are you:
a) Cool About the Situation - "I have been 'just coasting along' at work for ages. I am surprised it took them this long to fire my ass. Looking forward to 'me time.'"
b) Not Cool About the Situation - "I have given the best years of my life to this company. I was about to get a promotion, in charge of the Reduced Food."
c) Suicidal - "This is not a cry for attention. This is completely legit :-( sadface." (You must immediately call the iamawaitingyourereading Telephone Helpline. All calls are confidential.)
Is being made redundant 'The Golden Ticket' - afording you loads of time to finish your book / record that bleepbloob EP / 'get effing wasted 24/7' / pursue the opportunity to create the facility to 'cum' / plant a herb garden / take up traditional painting / MS Paint painting / dust off your Mega Drive situation / lose that stubborn belly fat / 'murder' your old boss?

Stay strong, y'all.
"You have a friend in me." - Woody Toy Story-man. 

IN TODAY'S TOUGH MP3 ECONOMY DOES HAVING A FRONTWOMAN = MAD BANK? PT 1

Y'all. As you know I spend the majority of my time OTI.
Recently I went to a relevant gig across town in order to support my local scene and hobnob with fellow MP3 consumers in a relevant environment. 

In today's social-economic situation we all have to 'make cut backs'. From what I understand, there are several 'fucking bullshit' products and services which are the first to go.
Come. Let us reflect:

• Water / Sewage Bills - "Unfortunately, I have not received your invoice. I fully intend to pay. (I will not pay.)"
• Fairtrade Goods and Services - "I cannot be effed to spend an extra 20pence on eggs. Although I enjoy the 'idea' of Free Range hens - I am unwilling to foot the extra cost. They are on their own."
• Charitable Donations - "Sorry, y'all - I have no £££ :-( sadface."
• Primitive Highstreet Business Models - "Eff Woolworths. Eff The HMV. Eff 'The Local Pub'. I am tightening my belt."

As demand for ^^^ these goods and services decline, demand for additional goods and services rise.

Come. Let us rejoice:

• Nutritious Torrents - "I will download this album. If the MP3s are adequate I will definitely buy the CD. (I will not by the CD.)"
• (And of course) The Opportunity to Arouse the Possibility to 'Cum' - "The best things in life are free."

Accepting all of this as truth, we must show delicate compassion to the artists / musicians who create content / MP3s.

(This is Part 1 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

There's so much content in the world; we must always be 'on our guard' and skeptical of new products. Allowing a new MP3 into our modern lives / hard drive can be a traumatic experience /:-/ concerned-face. As the Circle of Life spins we must evolve defenses against the many dangers we face, as savvy content consumers in the 1st World. One of the most powerful defense mechanisms we've evolved is the power to 'judge a book by its cover'.

This saves us both time and vital street credibility in the face of our peers IRL and anonymous 'internet trollers' OTI.

Band name. Haircut situations. Press photos. 

Only when the ^^^ above criteria has been satisfactorily resolved can we 'take a chance' on downloading a song.
The last thing any of us want is a 'disasterous' recommendation by Last.fm or The Spotify, sending us on a wild goose chase after a similar product.

"I have been burned,
too many times,
by BS recommendations on similar acts.
I can / will only trust myself." - Haiku rejecting circlejerk MP3 sites

Obviously, the majority of MP3s are consumed by males, so a band / musician's situation must be tailored to men.

To this end, the dedicated iam___ team will investigate several lineups to find the ideal bro / broad ratio.

'Tune in' tomorrow for our findings.

(This has been Part 1 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Q&A
What's your <3 favourite MP3?
Do your prefer women in bands to 'go completely effing mental' badmouthing an old BF / GF / BFF  - or 'get a lil vulnerable' singing about global warming / deforestation situations / feelings?
Do you know any bands / are you a band who should be investigated?
Why are Haim so angry all the time?
I think that the ^^^ base guitar player would 'snap my shit up' / utterly destroy my special place, but what do Y'ALL think?

Does Regine from Arcade Fire take the band's situation to such great heights or are they just sort of carrying her (due to marital commitments)?

xxo (2 kisses & 1 hug.)

I AM THINKING ABOUT CAT NAMES. I NEED Y'ALLS HELP.

Hey, y'all. 
Took my cat to the vet yesterday for her annual checkup situation.

At 1st I was like :-( sadface, but after she passed with flying colours I'm now more like :-) happyface.
Of course, Mao-Mao's been born with a metaphorical Silver Spoon (due to being housed in a 1st World household). Hers is not life of crappy supermarket own-brand food and generic 'piece of shit' cat toys; she has access to only the finest yumyums, an astonishing variety of Fairtrade toys, rustic woodchip kittylitter, and - should she need it - a highspeed broadband connection that she can use to illegally download content. In many ways she lives a life, which impoverished people (from the 3rd World / Central Poland) would 'kill their own mother' for.

Feel like I need to acquire a second cat / breed Mao in preparation for the 3rd and 4th quarters of 2013.

Do y'all know any cat names?
Here's a few that the iam___ team and I have been riffing on. Please let us know your views. (The most amazing and self-aware suggestion will be awarded 10 iam__ points which can be redeemed in our online shop or at our annual conference.)

Bonqueefa.
Commander Bonqueefa.
Queen Latifah.
Cat Face.
Dog Face.
Operation Cat Face.
Megatron.
Autobot Base Metroplex.
Pino Noir.
P. Noir.
T. Stark.
Mohammed.
Dalipep Mohammed.
Dalipep Dalipep Mohammed.
Penelope Puss-Puss
Tamara Bon Marche.
Ecoute Le Bon Marche.
Bon-Bon Le Sniff.
Ecoute Le Cat.
Ecoute Le Chat (?)
Tagliatelle.
Sex Bomb.
Kittykat Cat Cat.
Queen Diamante.
Sparkling Brut.
3 Liter Box of Chardonnay.
Merlot.
Paige Putt-Putt.
LOL Cat (LOLing Out Loud Cat).
U4ER (Euphoria). 
Brian Mumford (Mumford and _____).
Bert & Qubert (Co-founders of B&Q shop).
Busta Rhymes.


Q&A
Do any of ^^^ those name's seem legit to you or are they all just 'a load of old codswallop'? 
Is being a vet harder than being a doctor?
(Heard that they go to super advanced vet school for longer than 'stupid head' doctors go to 'retarded' doctor school for.)
Is ^^^ that true or just a bunch of BS made up by veterinarians?
I paid about £100 to the vet - is this 'an effing ripoff'?

Might just DIY this vet malarkey from now on.
(I am excited about this exciting new challenge.)

xx (2 kisses.)

IS YOUR BF / GF / BFF MORE PHOTOGENIC THAN YOU ARE?

Y'all. 
Just wondering if anyone's heard about these fashion blogs / local magazines which photograph interesting looking people on the street?
From what I understand, if you look like 'the bomb diggity' then the interview people will quiz you about your 'look' and what inspired it. Obviously they don't ask any Tom, Dick, or Harry; you have to be in the top 5% of relevant individuals in your local scene. Presumably you'll also need to be proficient in the following fields:

• Selfies.
• MP3 consumption.
• Twerking.
• Political and / or self-awareness (including Flash Mobs, Haiti, and 'getting militant' about inequality / Polar Bears).
• #hashtag deployment.

"It was a massive boost to my morale and to my general situation. All of those 'out there' fashion choices that I had made were validated the day that _____ took my photo and asked me some questions. Of course, I posted the link to my social network - increasing my market share by __%." - Fashion

Saw this broad on the street selected for an interview.
Felt really pleased for her - like she'd finally 'made it' and broken free of societies norms due to the power of her wardrobe, taking her situation to such great heights. I imagined a perfect world where her and I could combine our situations and become a 'powerhouse' on the local scene - going 'crazy', running through the streets with traffic cones and then pursuing the opportunity to 'cum' later on in the evening. (Might also watch Garden State or Lost in Translation indie motion pictures.) 
Saw her friend mill around next to her.
Felt bad for her - as she had not been selected. 

Felt really bad for her friend, man.
Unfortunately, she was not completely without blame - a real 'fixer-upper' - but it must be hard when your BF / GF / BFF is selected and you're not.
The frumpy-friend pretended that she was happy for the hawt-friend, but this was of course a lie.
Don't know either of these broads - but if I had to guess - I would say that their friendship is just sort of 'on autopilot' - like the relationship between the world and the Pokeman collection of brutal cock-fighting games.

Q&A
Are you intimidated by your BF / GF / BFF's wardrobe?
Is fashion 'fucking bullshit'?
I'm seeing lots of girls wearing mum jeans cut into short denim shorts - is this something to do with Rhianna?
Is being chosen for one of these photo / interview combos a legitimate achievement or is it just sort of like winning the Special Olympics?
If your friend was chosen for one of these photo / interview combos, and you were not, would you loiter around in the background and try and ease your way into the situation?
Just want to ask 1 question - is Pikachu an abomination?
#worried.

SUPER ADVANCED COMICS - DAENERYS TARGARYEN BREAST DROUGHT

Heard a shocking rumour on the internet that the blonde broad from Game of Thrones is now refusing to get naked >:-( angryface.

(If it's on the internet then it must be true - but of course - you don't need me to tell you that.)

From what I understand, @emiliaclarke wants to be known as a 'real actress' and not as some meh 6/10 actress who's willing to whore it up as long as it's 'vital to her characters development'. 

I am aghast.

Obvs ^^^ that ship has sailed and she will forever be known as 'the naked gurl + the dragons' so should she just remain focused, come to terms with her situation, and carry on?

I feel that this is infringing my human rights and I will be sending a strongly worded email to HBO and the author of the books.

Q&A

Should Emilia just get over herself and continue to give the fans what they want?

Is it her decision and we must respect that?

Should HBO have wrote something into her contract so that she'd be contractually obliged to _____?

Is this whole situation a 'fucking bullshit' publicity stunt?

What do you think of her 'Mini Cheddars'?

Is this an amazing win for equality / feminism?

Should iam___ explore feminism (in a mature, adult, and respectful manner)? 

Really wish I'd added some more breast-related puns to this post :-( sadface.

Remember - life is a game of thrones, y'all.