nRelate Posts and Homepage

Friday 2 February 2018

CATS

As you're no doubt aware having a cat in your life is akin to being close to God. There are so many similarities, but you don't need me to tell you that. 
Come. Let us reflect:

  • Is warm.
  • Feels good.
  • Accepts your personal brand.
  • Cares about you / Could not care less.
  • Is okay to chill in bed, but also wants to go 'completely effing mental' at 4am.
  • No judgement. (Unless you've done something wrong [via no food in the food bowl])

Accepting all of ^^^ that as truth we need to thoroughly study the situation.




This is my cat and his name is Tyrannosaurus Cat. T Cat. (The peeps in the veterinary place laughed because his name is sweetums, and they must've heard all of the names under the sun, so I think that that's a win.)

He is much bigger now but unfortunately he is also 'a pain in the fucking ass' because I encouraged him to play-fight when he was a kitten and now he's much bigger and now it hurts a bit when he play-fights. I have wounds on my hands like a bro who is Vegan / suffering a vitamin deficiency. Sort of like those ding-a-lings who keep a pet tiger and then are like OMG when it kills them.

Just riffing on my relationship with cats in this post. 


Q&A
1) Are you cat?
2) My cats fucking hate one another - and it's nothing to do with colour or religion - they just don't get along. Should we scale this biz up to the International Community or just bomb the eff out of Syria / miscellaneous brown people?
3) Where is Syria?
4) When you meet someone and they say that they're a dog person do you instantly think, "No." It's the same reaction that you'd have to an unsavoury bro wearing Croc shoes or a bro sporting a shoddy top knot BS?


BONUS QUESTION
We briefly touched upon these vile, disgusting, unsavoury characters in our previous Q&A, but I think that we should also throw dumdums who are still dicking around with skateboards / mirco scooters under the bus. (Metaphorically.) 
Disgusting creatures.
Filth.      

In this post I've been exploring my relationship with cats in this post.


xx
(2 kisses.)