YOU'RE WORLD: I AM USING SELF-TAN IN OCTOBER.

(YOU'RE WORLD is an astonishing feature where we try to become more self-aware by understanding other people's situations. iam___ readers, just like you, write in and tell us about themselves. Let's see what this week's situation is, hmmm?)

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I have always been sociable.
I was popular during high school and my market share was extensive during my Beauty BTEC / Travel & Tourism BTEC / Media BTEC / miscellaneous BS college BTEC.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find work in my field straight out of education - but fuck it - everything happens for a reason. I am sure that it will be okay.

For the last 3 months I have been working at the moderately priced highstreet chain, Boots. I am excited because my probationary period is nearly over. Soon I will receive a staff discount card. (10% across the store (except for 'high-end electrics'). I will lend it to you, but you have to promise to look after it.)

I apply the fake tan to my face. 
Sunbeds / spray tan combos are for losers. Hello? It's 2013 calling. I use self-tanning moisturiser situations. The results are so real; like I've been to a miscellaneous European country on a reasonably priced holiday with my bf - leaving behind Dominos 2 4 1 Tuesdays / a stale sex life and getting lost in a dizzy adventure, sipping Sangria in Corfu. 
If leaving self-tan on for 10 mins makes it look natural, then leaving it on for 15 mins makes it look even more naturaller. 
This stuff isn't rocket surgery ;-]

People look at me in the street.
They are jealous of my personal brand.

Obviously I only tan the oval of my face; I leave my neck / forehead / ears - no one cares about that stuff.

I am looking at you. Are you looking at me?

I am just me being 'me'. It is my choice to be 'orange' in the middle of Autumn - just as it is your choice to be a 'fish-skinned shade of beige' all year round. 
We can agree to disagree.
The world keeps turning.
I am comfortable. 

I am taking selfies.

I am of above average attractiveness. I am _____.

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'Jesus Christ'.
Do you have any advice for this broad? Remember to offer only your most constructive feedback in the comments. (Plz no internet trollers.) Whoever offers the most self-aware and socially responsible advice will receive over 100 iamawaitingyourereading points.

Good luck, y'all!
xxx (3 kisses.)

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