BUILDERS

As you're no doubt aware builders are a bunch of dingdongs. Whether it's playing sillybuggers outside a Weatherspoons when the sun's gone down or singing along to a Kasabian song when the scaffolding's gone up, they're absolutely disgusting creatures. Hello and yes welcome back.

As 2018 starts to gain traction we need to address the elephant in the room; we as a species have loads of buildings so do we as a species still need builders? My sources (Number 10 Downing Street, actually) report that it's all some wonky pyramid scheme to keep riffraff off the streets. As long as they're 30' up in the air then they can't interfere with decent folk in the Modern Urban Environment. 

In our post hashtagMeToo world we need to constantly be on the lookout for sexual shenanigans / rape. You don't need to look far; they are mostly perched atop scaffolding like rapey gargoyles. Disgusting.


Q&A
a) Is listening to the radio for poor people?
b) Why are there no female builders?
c) One time I had a female taxi driver and I was amaze. (Not really a question.)
d) I've had a builder dicking around painting my hallway for like a year now. He finished up yesterday but he is very lazy / not a very good builder. (Not really a question.)
e) Should Mate Rock Pop (Kasabian, The Automatic, The Streets Rap Man, Rag + Bone Man) be condemned by the international community and subject to severe UN sanctions?

At the start of this post I was feeling like, "Fuck builders."

Nothing has changed.

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(1 kiss.)
  

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