It's a song called "Smell Yo Dick". I didn't miss the "ur" off "Your", it's actually titled "Yo" *. Black people are super-duper cool. I digress.
Follow this link for at least 1 of your 5 LOLs a day. Go ahead, I'll wait. NSFW.
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| "Oh hell noes! I'm an Amazon! AN EBONY QUEEN!!!1" |
This abortion comes from the pen of an amazing animal called "Riskay". Pokemon Masters say that this bloated bitch is the next evolutionary state of Queen Latifah. (Fat? Check. Black? Check. Outstanding contribution to the arts? Check. Furthermore, no one has ever seen them in the same place at the same time). Riskay is the Blastoise to Queen Latifahs Squirtle.
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| One of these Pokemon makes Romantic Comedies with Steve Martin. One of them wants to smell a dick and doesn't much care for dirty foot bitches. |
This song is LOL. It's so funny I can't stop watching it. I've watched it once a day for a week now. That's more then 11 times. It's not because it's good. It's not. It's fucking dross. But what fascinates me is that no one in this video (not even the 2 sasquatch looking bad dudes at about 1.40 who do the little-raise-the-roof dance) seems to be doing it for the LOLs. This is serious business for all involved. I am amaze. Like when you drive past a badger that's been run over - you don't want to look and you feel sorry for its stinky roadkill complexion - but you look anyways because it's not everyday you see such a hairy mammal prostrated to the floor with its gut hanging out.
There's a lot going on in this video but for God's sake pay attention to the words.
(Opening)
Nigga this the fifth teeth muthafuckin time that I called and left yo ass messages
I dun text yo bitch ass and you aint responded to nothing
What the fuck is you doin who tha fuck you out there with you think I'm stupid my girls dun already put me up on yo ass tonight night nigga when you get home I got som news foe yo bitch ass
(Chorus 2times)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick
(Hook 1)
It's four o'clock and I'm sleepin' and it's late night and you creeping you could've told me I'm leavin' now I know you out there cheatin' why you got to do me like dat when I call you don't call me back I'm texting you now nigga where you at that's fucked up why you do me like dat
(Verse 1)
I'm dead sleep and you trickin'
In the club wit dirty foot bitches
My gurl was there she witness
She had a camera phone she took pictures
You was on the dance flo grindin'
With a stripper hoe named Diamond
You was flossin' hard you was shinning
Everything she drink you buyin' it
Fuck nigga you need to stop lien' foe I get mad and pull out my nine
You want a new bitch to fuck that's fine but don't fuck hers and try to fuck mine
You keep tellin me you ain't touch her but some keep tellin me you dun fucked her and I ain't that bitch you want to play wit nigga drop them boxers let me smell yo dick
(Chours 2times)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick
(Unknown)
Smell my dick wait a minute hold up see that's how a bitch get her eyes swoll up and I don't give a damn what yo homegurls seen when I was in the club what the fuck you mean they ain't got no business eyein' me like dat
You ain't got no business tryin' me like dat
I wun even feelin' Diamond like dat I was wildin' but I wasn't clowin' like dat
Dat's alright dat's okay gon head believe what yo homegurl say a nigga like me drink a lot of liquor meet a lot of bitchs take a lot of pictures
I might break bread wit one or two strippers but that don't mean you got to pull my zipper
Thinking I dick down the whole town even though I got dick to go around
(Chorus 2times)
Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick.
---
When these words are copy pasted directly into MS Word there's an incredible 64 spelling errors (probably more, I didn't do an exact count). The program also deleted itself straight after and my laptopotomous started to die inside. I think it wanted the pain to stop. It's also said that when these lyrics are assembled in the correct order it's like a verbal pentagram - you can summon all kinds of fail directly from the 8th Circle of Hell. If you speak these words aloud into a mirror 3 times, Riskay will appear behind you and do that waggy finger mmm mmm thing that black women do in films.
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| "AM I DOING IT RITE?" |
She'll probably then kill you afterwards or something - I don't know I'm too scared to try. Riskay has moar not good English than some kid on his Ecksbawks.
Nigga this the fifth teeth muthafuckin time that I called and left yo ass messages
I dun text yo bitch ass and you aint responded to nothing
NIGGA DIS TEH FIFTH TEETH MOTHERFUCKIN TIEM THAT MAY CALLED + LEFT YO ASS MSGS I DUN TEXT YO BITCH ASS + YOUS AINT RESPONDD 2 NOTHIN :( SADFACE!!!1ONE
My flatmate and I have watched this train wreck religiously for days now. Not since that Cher Loyd thing, with the swaggerjaggerswaggerjagger ad infinitum, has a 4 minute piece of video played such a satisfying part in my life. Although, I watched that threesome bit with Denise Richards in Wildthings like 20 times. Fucking win.
* This would've been a great opportunity to do that utterly fail "[sic]" thing after a deliberate editorial error but as I'm not a serious business scientist or a PHD scientist, I chose to leave it.
- If you suspect someone of cheating, smell their dick to confirm or deny the validity of your suspicion. Tests are inconclusive as to whether this works if your partners a woman.
- Thinking I dick down the whole town even though I got dick to go around. If I ever get accused of cheating I'm using this excuse. It works at least 100% of the time.
- Riskay is a fucking moron. Riskay is a champion of the LOLs.
- That is all.
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