Call them punks.
Call them dweebs.
Call the police?
Obvs 111 casual emergency services, or @sussex_police Twitter tag thing, or direct dialling your local police station is a 'complete fucking waste of time' so all expedited reports must flow via 999 emergency services. It could be dialling in a very serious act of terrorism or just complaining about some tramp who is looking very suspicious. You can also dial 999 to report a group of miscellaneous teenagers you don't like the look of; just sex it up a bit and state that they're 'dealing marijuana amphetamine' or about to start a fight and you should have a police-branded vehicle upon your location in a couple of mins :-] happyface
Anyways, some Community Support Police Officer bro was tremendously vocal with his criticism on our last post and here is his feedback:
-----
I always wanted to be a policeman.
My peers at primary school always wanted to be an astronaut / cowboy but I wanted to serve my community. To make a diff.
I have trained very hard. Half marathons? No probs.
I consistently deliver a 10min mile. Even with a full-kit of nice hat & pepper spray I can clear a mile in 9mins.
My son asks me if I am a hero.
"No, son," I reply. "I am not a hero. Just a bro. Trainee police. A Community Support Officer."
(He looks disappoint.)
I trained so hard! But hold up something is wrong.
:-[ sadface
At this point in my career I'd been jerking off in the male man cubicle religiously every Tues and Thurs, but now they have these transgender sexless toilets so I just masturbate all over the place and 'hope for the best'.
At this point in my career I'd been jerking off in the male man cubicle religiously every Tues and Thurs, but now they have these transgender sexless toilets so I just masturbate all over the place and 'hope for the best'.
Once I graduated from policeman school I realised that I'd 'made some very poor life-choices'.
There is no £££ here.
Fuck.
After years of austerity under _____ government there was no bank.
My exe wife keeps pestering me for £££, and I have told her like 10 times to back off, but bitch keeps on phoning. How can I pay Child Support when my fridge is empty? You dirty whore. I have a half of yesterday's carbonara and some Darylea Jumbo Tubes.
My first day on the job I was liek OMG, but now things are pretty sweetums.
I answer the telephone.
Theft. No thank you.
Miscellaneous disturbance. Please hold.
Unless someone's legit about to be murdered I mostly just chill in the office all day, dicking around on Facebook and spinning around on my rad posture correction chair. Man, I only leave the station to 'grab a bite' or to play Pokémon Go. (Gotta catch 'em all, bb!)
I always wanted to be a policeman.
-----
Well I feel a lot more chill about the situation after that transcript. Let's do a brief Q&A to round this post off hmmm?
Q&A
Are you police?
I'm really wondering for real one time if these Community Support Officers are being paid, or if it's some BS Pyramid Scheme, where exposure / 'this'll look great on your CV' shenanigans is going down. Worried.
Should our UK police be armed?
a) gun
b) taser
c) tactical nuclear device
xx
(2 kisses.)
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