--- ( CASE CLOSED. WIN? FAIL? FIND OUT AT THE BOTTOM ) ---
Hi there Adam, you have received a reply to your Gumtree posting "SAMSUNG TOCCO LITE (spares and repair)" (ad# 86741736) from <amandacollins32>:</amandacollins32>
am interested in buying your item?
hope too read from you soon...
amanda
---
Amanda,
Amanda,
I'm glad you're interested. When would you like to come and view it? Thanks.
Adam
--- ( Skip this wall of text below if you want. tl;dr. It's a scam. ) ---
Hi Thanks for getting back to me I will want to know the recent
condition of this item and the total amount, am really willing to buy
the items.and am to send it to my friend who is studying
West Africa (Nigeria) as a gift for her birthday, for me by Royal Mail
international
message log .. I'll be paying through pay pal or i can pay via bank
transfer if that is not preferable,we can do it via postal order
So you online and you really appreciate your help.
each auction via bank transfer with item number Gumtree
am not around for now i went for a trip with my boss in Canada i will
have loved to come for the items myself so i will
be paying you the amount of money u willing to collect from me for the
item,so i will like to know the total amount of the item plus the
postage,so i will like you to get back to me with a request of the
total amount plus the shipping charges to my bank record or PayPal
which the details is(amandacollins32@yahoo.com) so i will like to make
the payment as soon as possible i get the request ....
amanda...
---
Amanda,
your story has warmed my heart. would you like to meet up, in person? my name? adam. i am a modest man. but i can treat you like jesus treat the leper - with the tender touch and the infinite care. allow me, this one time, to call you...mine? let me know if this is too forward. i think i am falling for you. please allow me, this one time, to offer you the "mmwa"
adam x
--- ( pics lol ) ---
OK but i don't know you but i will like too know whether you are going too post out the item for me and the kind of payment you will like caus this is my first time of buying iterm onlineor not so if you want too contact me this is my im (lisaanderson20*so that we can talk about this ok and this is my own yahoomail you are free too send me message ok lisaanderson20@yahoo.com...and this are my pics if you dont mind ok
---
you're pictures. i am amaze. forget about the camera, and the high quality 12 mega pixel images it develops. i am more interested in this love that develops between us. would you be terribly adverse to recieving a picture of me? i know you want the business, but mix a little business with pleasure, hey baby?
eternally you'res. adam x
this is a picture of me. it is very recent, so the authentisity can be confirmed. adam x
---
thanks for the message but it is hard too date some i dont no but i you im tell me so that we can chat better ok and this is my im( lisaanderson20)yahoomessenger then let me have yours ok ...
and tell me are you going too help me send the phon too my friend just let me know then we can chat about that later but your pic is nice but i will like too see you but am not around for now and whish country are you from...
hope too read from you soon....
---
Amanda,
is one moving too fast? i cant help it, baby, this feeling is now too strong to ignore one time. my love is like the wind, and wild is the wind. i would love to yahoomessenger you but unfortunately i have no internets to spare atm (maybe its a problem with the mainframe? i dunno lol). i will, of course, send the phone to your friend. first, answer me this troth.
it is just a friend, yes? not something...moar serious? i await you're reading. adam x
--- :D ---
it is my friend i can give you her pics she is a woman not a man OK loll so get back too me as soon as possible ok and i will like too no were you are from and a little about you
---
Amanda,
oh golly, is you're friend single? i have a friend Danny (i've attached his photo) who may be interested. he looks a little weird cos his mum used to drink and the beet him :( sadface. but you cant really tell, hey? lol this all seems to be going so well!
i am you're soil, you are my plant - i will help you grow. adam x
---
hi thanks for the message s that your friend is pics is nice but you are more ansome than him am sorry for that but you have not tell me anything about the postage cause my friend call me and i told her i have seen samsung that she is looking for that am going too send it too her next week so i will like too read from you soon
---
Amanda,
whoa, baby. may starting to think yous is only interested in this phone? what about the promise you made? use the eyes for you're reading as i speek to you now. my friend Danny and one would like to meet you and you're friend. another troth must also be spoke between you, the woman, and may, the man. this troth is this - are you just using me for the phone? it seems like this is all yous is interested in.
hopefully and meek you'res. adam x
---
thanks for the message let me know if you are gpoing ttoo help send this phon cause am sending it as a birthday gift and i will you too post it tommorow morning then we can talk about this felling you have for me cause am still single and too be honest you are the first person toopropose too me and i will let you know what going on loll
---
Amanda,
i was worried you're intentions were unpure. i have been hurt in the past so i keep my heart in a tower, only the chosen one can open it. it is time for another troth - are you the chosen one?please speek to me always and only troth. when is you're friends dbay? i can have the airmail sent to you priority airmail. but first, speek the answer i need to read.
i have attached a photo of me in the bath (i have both taps, hot and cold). i await you're reading.adam x
Amanda,
i haven't heard from you for a while. are you still interested in this item because i have other people interested in this amazing item?
reply with email. adam x
---
yes but i think you are playing me OK have given you the address i want the item too be post too so if you know you are going too help for this cause my friend is doing her birthday next week and for your question we can be friends for now cause i will like too no more about you before i give you my heart so let me know as soon as possible
--
Amanda,
forgive my lewd behaviour, i ensure you my intentions are as pure as a mountain stream and as pure as a mountain stream. i just havent met anyone like you before. your photos haunt my dreams. i think i am falling in love with you. does it understand?
i will post the item to your friend. please give me the address and payment declaration mandate for data protection and security purposes (go to PayPal/security purposes)
i have run out of ink in my printer i have printed so many of your photo.
i need moar money for ink. adam x
ps i have included a photo of me with my pet dog, "Robocop". i hope you like.
---
ok just let me know when you have post the item so that i will be sure and i can sort out the payment ok
block20,flat 15 rabiatu Thompson
surulere
Lagos
23401
Nigeria
and the receiver is Carlos Marcus
and i want you to kindly get back to me with the tracking number so i
would be sure of the postage
hope to read from you soon
---
Amanda,
yous must think i am the real sillybilly. i know (well, my heart and my soul pray that this is the troth) that you're a serious buyer - but you must understand my reservations. what with the current state of the economic climate and the DOW JONES i must have thorough confirmation.
what is you're offer on the camera in £? (i will reduce the item by £10 for NOODZ)
adam x
( Hold up! )
Amanda,
also, who the fuck is Carlos Marcus? THIS IS NOT THE TROTH WE DISCUSSED!!!1
:( angry face
---
dont be too jealousy that is the person that will receive the item and for your information i don't know the guy and that what my friend give too me whit the address the receiver name but now i can see your felling for me is strong but let settle this first i promise you
---
ok, baby,
i cannot help but feel jealousy. it is time for another troth to be spoken between you and one. you speek of promises? swear on my dead brothers wings that this Carlos sonofabitch means nothing to you? turn my :( sadface into ;) confident winking man.
speek this troth to me, and we can proceed.
ps sent moar pics too. adam x
---
hello are you angry you don't even talk too me
--- ( The endgame. ) ---
Amanda,
now i use the fingers to type the words. you use the eyes to read the words, yes? i cannot talk to you anymoar. the wounds are too deep, the memories burn like a thousand suns. what we have shared here will live on as a most precious jewel in my mind.
before i leave (probably to listen to Paparoach and then kill myself :( sadface), for old times sake, answer me one final troth:
was it ever about me or were you just manipulating my emotions, like the drunk monkey juggling the 6 Rubix cubes, just to get this damn phone?
ps. here is a picture of me learning to swim. adam x
---
why are u doing like this to me ,i guess his my fwend boi fwend so what is the rubbish u telling me ,don't you trust me anymore or what here is the person am sending it to on face book go and add her ...so i will like to hear from you about the item today before the post office closed...here is her name below
Pamelacollins2885@yahoo.com.....add her on face book....
---
Amanda,
one has not heard from you for a while. one is starting to think you dont want this phone anymoar? please use words to confirm or deny this. if the phone no longer interests you, what about the promise you made?
look into your heart and speek the words it longs to type. will you be mine?
i am not ashamed to life my live. are you? adam x
attach a picture of your choosing to one.
also, complete the following. i am the unicorn. you are the ______ ?
adam x
( Follow up. )
Amanda,
do you...not love one :( sadface? what about the old ringading (mobile phone). did i meantion it sends TXT MSGs? think about that, before you let this quality and clean item slip through your hands.
adam x
Fuck. Me. There is so much win involved in this thread. If you need proof, allow me to share with you the fact that a few days ago the NHS contacted me to see if they could outsource this page and use it to treat sick children with the healing power of LOL's. The cure rate was astronomical. Even kids who had been touched by their relatives showed a substantial increase in their :) happyface to :( sadface ratio. It is my gift to the world.
To this day, I'm not sure if Amanda Collins is running some kind of scam or just suffering from massive, potentially fatal learning difficulties. Somewhere out there there is a team of scientists trying to weaponise the raw levels of retardation Amanda possesses. When that day comes - like Bill Paxton says in Aliens, "Game over, man! GAME OVER!!!1"
---
--
Amanda,
forgive my lewd behaviour, i ensure you my intentions are as pure as a mountain stream and as pure as a mountain stream. i just havent met anyone like you before. your photos haunt my dreams. i think i am falling in love with you. does it understand?
i will post the item to your friend. please give me the address and payment declaration mandate for data protection and security purposes (go to PayPal/security purposes)
i have run out of ink in my printer i have printed so many of your photo.
i need moar money for ink. adam x
ps i have included a photo of me with my pet dog, "Robocop". i hope you like.
---
ok just let me know when you have post the item so that i will be sure and i can sort out the payment ok
block20,flat 15 rabiatu Thompson
surulere
Lagos
23401
Nigeria
and the receiver is Carlos Marcus
and i want you to kindly get back to me with the tracking number so i
would be sure of the postage
hope to read from you soon
---
Amanda,
yous must think i am the real sillybilly. i know (well, my heart and my soul pray that this is the troth) that you're a serious buyer - but you must understand my reservations. what with the current state of the economic climate and the DOW JONES i must have thorough confirmation.
what is you're offer on the camera in £? (i will reduce the item by £10 for NOODZ)
adam x
( Hold up! )
Amanda,
also, who the fuck is Carlos Marcus? THIS IS NOT THE TROTH WE DISCUSSED!!!1
:( angry face
---
dont be too jealousy that is the person that will receive the item and for your information i don't know the guy and that what my friend give too me whit the address the receiver name but now i can see your felling for me is strong but let settle this first i promise you
---
ok, baby,
i cannot help but feel jealousy. it is time for another troth to be spoken between you and one. you speek of promises? swear on my dead brothers wings that this Carlos sonofabitch means nothing to you? turn my :( sadface into ;) confident winking man.
speek this troth to me, and we can proceed.
ps sent moar pics too. adam x
---
hello are you angry you don't even talk too me
--- ( The endgame. ) ---
Amanda,
now i use the fingers to type the words. you use the eyes to read the words, yes? i cannot talk to you anymoar. the wounds are too deep, the memories burn like a thousand suns. what we have shared here will live on as a most precious jewel in my mind.
before i leave (probably to listen to Paparoach and then kill myself :( sadface), for old times sake, answer me one final troth:
was it ever about me or were you just manipulating my emotions, like the drunk monkey juggling the 6 Rubix cubes, just to get this damn phone?
ps. here is a picture of me learning to swim. adam x
---
why are u doing like this to me ,i guess his my fwend boi fwend so what is the rubbish u telling me ,don't you trust me anymore or what here is the person am sending it to on face book go and add her ...so i will like to hear from you about the item today before the post office closed...here is her name below
---
Amanda,
one has not heard from you for a while. one is starting to think you dont want this phone anymoar? please use words to confirm or deny this. if the phone no longer interests you, what about the promise you made?
look into your heart and speek the words it longs to type. will you be mine?
i am not ashamed to life my live. are you? adam x
---
Hun.wat did u mean by all this am ready to make my love to u am really confesing my self on u. are u still sending the phone or not be truhtful to your word hun,i hope i read from you
--- ( You can call me Hun, but like Pretty Woman - no kissing on the lips. ) ---
Amanda,
i would prefer if one and two kept things moar professional. I am the salesman (serious businessman) you are the customer (customer). therefore one does not know if terms like "hun" are appropriate. maybe you should just call me "Al", and i can be your bodyguard and stuff. before our business reaches the final organism, i need the maximum conformation of for who is is i am dealing.
i attach a photo of me looking mysterious.
i would prefer if one and two kept things moar professional. I am the salesman (serious businessman) you are the customer (customer). therefore one does not know if terms like "hun" are appropriate. maybe you should just call me "Al", and i can be your bodyguard and stuff. before our business reaches the final organism, i need the maximum conformation of for who is is i am dealing.
i attach a photo of me looking mysterious.
attach a picture of your choosing to one.
also, complete the following. i am the unicorn. you are the ______ ?
adam x
( Follow up. )
Amanda,
do you...not love one :( sadface? what about the old ringading (mobile phone). did i meantion it sends TXT MSGs? think about that, before you let this quality and clean item slip through your hands.
adam x
------ ( CASE CLOSED ) ------
WIN
Fuck. Me. There is so much win involved in this thread. If you need proof, allow me to share with you the fact that a few days ago the NHS contacted me to see if they could outsource this page and use it to treat sick children with the healing power of LOL's. The cure rate was astronomical. Even kids who had been touched by their relatives showed a substantial increase in their :) happyface to :( sadface ratio. It is my gift to the world.
To this day, I'm not sure if Amanda Collins is running some kind of scam or just suffering from massive, potentially fatal learning difficulties. Somewhere out there there is a team of scientists trying to weaponise the raw levels of retardation Amanda possesses. When that day comes - like Bill Paxton says in Aliens, "Game over, man! GAME OVER!!!1"
If it were legally possible to award this mission any more high 5's then the maximum 5 out of 5 high 5's, I'd award it, like, 6 high 5's.
SCORE: 5 / 5 HIGH 5'S
--- ( WT WE HAVE LERNED? ) ---
- I think we've actually unlearned things. There's a lot going on here and none of it is boosting anyone's intelligence.
- That is all.
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