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Friday, 12 July 2013

IN TODAY'S TOUGH MP3 ECONOMY DOES HAVING A FRONTWOMAN = MAD BANK? PT 1

Y'all. As you know I spend the majority of my time OTI.
Recently I went to a relevant gig across town in order to support my local scene and hobnob with fellow MP3 consumers in a relevant environment. 

 In today's social-economic situation we all have to 'make cut backs'. From what I understand, there are several 'fucking bullshit' products and services which are the first to go.
Come. Let us reflect:
  • Water / Sewage Bills - "Unfortunately, I have not received your invoice. I fully intend to pay. (I will not pay.)"
  • Fairtrade Goods and Services - "I cannot be effed to spend an extra 20pence on eggs. Although I enjoy the 'idea' of Free Range hens - I am unwilling to foot the extra cost. They are on their own."
  • Charitable Donations - "Sorry, y'all - I have no £££ :-( sadface."
  • Primitive Highstreet Business Models - "Eff Woolworths. Eff The HMV. Eff 'The Local Pub'. I am tightening my belt."


As demand for ^^^ these goods and services decline, demand for additional goods and services rise.
Come. Let us rejoice:


  • Nutritious Torrents - "I will download this album. If the MP3s are adequate I will definitely buy the CD. (I will not by the CD.)"
  • (And of course) The Opportunity to Arouse the Possibility to 'Cum' - "The best things in life are free."


Accepting all of this as truth, we must show delicate compassion to the artists / musicians who create content / MP3s.

(This is Part 1 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

There's so much content in the world; we must always be 'on our guard' and skeptical of new products. Allowing a new MP3 into our modern lives / hard drive can be a traumatic experience /:-/ concerned-face. As the Circle of Life spins we must evolve defenses against the many dangers we face, as savvy content consumers in the 1st World. One of the most powerful defense mechanisms we've evolved is the power to 'judge a book by its cover'.
This saves us both time and vital street credibility in the face of our peers IRL and anonymous 'internet trollers' OTI.

Band name. Haircut situations. Press photos. 
Only when the ^^^ above criteria has been satisfactorily resolved can we 'take a chance' on downloading a song.
The last thing any of us want is a 'disasterous' recommendation by Last.fm or The Spotify, sending us on a wild goose chase after a similar product.

"I have been burned,
too many times,
by BS recommendations on similar acts.
I can / will only trust myself." - Haiku rejecting circlejerk MP3 sites

Obviously, the majority of MP3s are consumed by males, so a band / musician's situation must be tailored to men.
To this end, the dedicated iam___ team will investigate several lineups to find the ideal bro / broad ratio.

 'Tune in' tomorrow for our findings.

 (This has been Part 1 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Q&A
What's your <3 favourite MP3?
Do your prefer women in bands to 'go completely effing mental' badmouthing an old BF / GF / BFF  - or 'get a lil vulnerable' singing about global warming / deforestation situations / feelings?
Do you know any bands / are you a band who should be investigated?
Why are Haim so angry all the time?
I think that the ^^^ base guitar player would 'snap my shit up' / utterly destroy my special place, but what do Y'ALL think?

Does Regine from Arcade Fire take the band's situation to such great heights or are they just sort of carrying her (due to marital commitments)?

 xxo (2 kisses & 1 hug.)

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