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Monday, 16 September 2013

LIFE: MY CAT JUMPED OUT OF MY WINDOW. I AM THINKING ABOUT 'LIFE'

Sup, y'all.
?

As y'all no doubt know, I have a cat called Mao-Mao LOL.

Sometimes I look down at her and I'm like OMG; send a prayer up to Caucasian Jesus and the several brown religions that her and my paths crossed. We're more than just 'owner' and 'pet' - stumbling into a master / slave situation - we're in a partnership of equals

Unfortunately she jumped out of my window. I live in a top floor flat in the modern urban environment, so this did not end well. Not at all. 

This is a flow chart of her journey:

Window > 4 stories down > concrete patio.





At 1st I was like :-O amazed face and then I was like /:-/ concerned face and then I was like :-( sadface. I thought that she'd explode to the floor, similar to the helicopter in the major motion picture Black Hawk is Down, Y'all!





She's okay - just a broken leg - but geewizz it made me feel incredibly vulnerable. Now I'm thinking about 'life', and my own mortality, and my future IRL (in the modern urban environment) and OTI (in cyberspace).

Want to live each day as if it's my last.

Want to run up a mountain and say, "Yes."
Want to 'cum' with women of all nationalities / levels of attractiveness.
Want to meet a special someone with the ideal nipple to areola ratio.
Want to dance the dance of life, both in a relevant nightclub but also on railway property.
Want to stand on top of a building with a thunderous Caucasian erection. "Look," I say. "Look at me. Believe."


Q&A

On a Scale of 1 to 10 ('1' being 'Casual' and '10' being 'Complete Fucking Disaster') how serious a situation is this?
1) Casual?
2) 24 television show atom bomb detonation?
3) The Syria Situation?
4) Israel Vs Kuwait Massacre?
5) Earthquake & Tsunami combo for Japan?
6) Battle of 1066? Arrow in the eye for the King Harold '-(
7) The Millennium Bug?
8) 'Swine Flu'?
9) WWII (2)?
10) Complete Fucking Disaster?

Should I try and exploit this situation like Madeline McCain?


Today has been brought to you by animals and also gravity.

Gtg.
I am feeling vulnerable.




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