'Felt bad, man.
'Felt bad.
I don't know anything about anything. I wander around for a long, long, long, long time.
Maybe I was a bit cavalier about being able to find a hotel straight off the bat? (I was.) Or maybe it's because I'm new to this travel situation? (I am.) But for a while there I was royally fucked.
'Felt bad, man.
Then I meet a bro who points me towards the Cozy Bangkok.
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| Seen here in the light of day. 'Stupid thing was that I'd walked past this sign like 3 times already. |
The Cozy Bangkok was literally - literally - just closing up as I went past. Like the innkeeper to the Joseph and to the Mary, the broad on the door tells me that they're all out of rooms. Instead of offering me the barn though, she says that all they have left is the Honeymoon Suite. Sold. Sold twice over - just let me in - please God just let me in.
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| This was my living room. £17. Legit. |
The next day I walk around the streets like Alice down the rabbit hole for hours before Sommset finds me and shows me the way. Sommset is a Thai native in his late 50's. Sommset is a Chinese Buddhist. Sommset is a bro.
He shows me some pretty cool shit. Picture related.
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| Some pretty cool shit. |
That statue weighs 5 tonnes and is 98% gold. It's the biggest solid gold statue in the world. You'll find it at Wat Traimit. (Wat means Temple. 'Dunno what Traimit means.) This blog is informative.
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| Wat Traimit. (I took this photo at an angle to make it look cool.) |
Sommet is a bro. He looks like a tortoise spent too much time in the sun, 'got real tanned, and then grew a wispy black beard to accessorise. He dresses in tan clothes and has a sweet pocket watch. He's on a fun-sized pilgrimage to go to a temple in the old city and to buy some crap for his son. "Would I like to come with him?" he says.
All my yes.
We weave our way through the streets and the markets of Bangkok and China Town. People use words like 'bustling,' 'crowded,' and 'chaotic.' These adjectives don't even touch the sides. It's moar like someone got 20 sets of Lego Technic and poured them out over concrete.
It's absolute madness.
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| Pretty madness. But madness. |
Bro's edge through rammed streets on cobbled together mopeds.
Chef's sell stuff that I'm not sure if it's vegetable, animal, or mineral.
Vendor's offer everything. Just anything and everything.
Tbf, I've only seen 1 brothel so far. Tbh, I'm not sure how I feel about paying for sex. I'm like, 'I look after kittens. I'm not bad looking. Does this one need to pay?' I'll see how that pans out.
Sommset says, "China Town is one big market."
Sommset is a bro.
I've got to be honest, the internet. Part of me thought this was some scam. Like, maybe Sommset would betray the bond that exists between bros and lead me down some alleyway where I would be mugged, conned, or murder death killed. 'Feels bad that this is the wariness we have of a stranger's kindness in the West. Maybe we're kind of dicks.
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| This is a holy tree. Folk's tie stuff onto it for some reason. This one wasn't really paying attention. |
Sommset's legit, though. We part company at the old city. He says I'll be okay. He says you can tell the tourists who're going to get into trouble. They wear baggy pants and sandals and look, "Like a stupid fuck," he says.
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| Not my photo, but you get the idea. |
Anyways, I left Bangkok yesterday. I'm in Chiang Mai atm.
'Feels good, man.
'Feels good.
WHAT HAVE WE LERNED?
- Mostly, Thai's are pretty legit. I haven't had any grief yet.
- A curbside meal costs about £1 and is delicious!
- Booze is about £1.40ish for a large bottle of beer.
- Smokes are £1.40 - £1.80ish. (I'm smoking. When in Rome...)
- Tuk Tuk driver's are mostly dicks.
- There're lots of stray cats :( sadface.
- There're lots of stray dogs. #whocares #getlost
- That is all.
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