Today's Little Lol is brought to you (via Thailand's trains).
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| Bangkok's main train station. I feel like it should be bigger. Liek Victoria or something. |
I meet Kooky on the train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. Kooky looks like some anime cartoon came to life and learned how to use eye liner. She has short bangs which flank her face to either side. Kooky isn't her real name, of course. She has one of those half-assed, 'sort-of-in-the-right-ballpark' names, which Asians seem to adopt around Westerners.
In addition to being hawt, she also hooks this one up some work for my return to Bangkok.
Basically, I teach 'the kids' English and shit and peel away the many layers of mystery and mistrust which cling to the 'white devil' - and in return I get to tag along with them on tours and activities.
Seems legit.
Anyways - Thailand's Trains.
They're kind of a fucking lollercoaster.
Maybe they are the living embodiment of a lollercoaster?
It's amateur night.
In England we have a hissy fit if a train is delayed by 5mins. (I know this. I have been that guy.)
My train was delayed by 1hour +. "We're making good time today," she says.
Sister, I don't think we are. Not at all.
You have to book the train in advance.
You cannot 'turn up on the day and hope for the best'.
If you do, you will be walking. Or worse - stuck in Bangkok.
Oh noes.
Oh, and the journey took like 13 hours. Disgusting.
The staff offer you food like they're testing Mars for signs of life.
Will these parameters be acceptable?
Is the test subject still responsive?
Is he actually eating that slop?
I don't even know what munch they served up. Think a stale Pot Noodle with a fig roll crushed over the top.
This one doesn't recommend it.
Anyways, tying my flag to the mast of this language school thing seems like a good idea. They have 1 tutor to 15 kids and I absolutely tower above them (via being a strong white male. Like Fred Durst).
Goodnight, the internet. I love you. <3 heart symbol.
* 'Sexy bitch' in Thai is ตัวเมียเซ็กซี่. 'Not sure how to pronounce that. Shame. Real shame.
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