Feel like their life is like living in the circus - like the major pop juggernaut by Britney Spears - Circus.
Come. See the Long Neck tribe.
See it's curious ways.
Feel the feel of it's neck rings (via making the long neck).
Look into its eyes. It sees you. But does yous sees it?
It's a human zoo.
Sort of feel bad for the Long Neck tribe.
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| This broad is a member of the Long Neck tribe. You can tell because she has a long neck. |
So I signs up for one of these package tour things.
My ex would hate it.
Disturbing the balance of the native, honest, traditionally native folk.
Point and click the camera. "Did you get a good shot? Post that shit to Facebawks."
Are their traditional values being exploited?
Exploitation.
Situations.
But realistically - who's taking advantage of who?
I mean we paid good money to be here. She just sits there with a long neck and shit.
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| 'Do something, you long necked bitch.' 'It does what it does.' |
Today, I've squeezed in a lot of situations. None of these situations feel very legit though.
Like much of the stuff here - it's a tourist trap.
You see the same poor fuckers attempting to shift the same situations.
Over and over and over and over again.
Jade elephants.
Jade Buddhas.
Jade turtles.
(It's a wonder this country has any jade left.)
Fake silver bracelets.
Dried flowers. Dried flower garlands.
100% cotton T's with iconic Thai imagery.
Wooden frogs, which croak as you tickle them.
Wooden snakes, which oscillate as you pull them.
(It's a wonder this country has any pride left.)
Feels to this one like it's sort of whoring itself out (via Apocalypse Now).
So today, I've squeezed in a lot of situations. The hot springs. The White Temple. The Golden Triangle. The border. The Long Neck tribe.
All in all - it's been a pretty sweet day.
But sort of feel bad for the Long Neck tribe.
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| A hot spring. That is all. |
Feel like the 'hot spring' is acually a heated pool of water with a pump underneath. (In fact, I know it is. I saw the plumbing. I used to work in an aquarium so I know smoke and mirrors when I see it. Sorry. This blog is honest.)
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| The White Temple. |
^ is probably the tackiest, most nasty thing I've ever seen.
Think some broad outside a club at 3am.
Think Gaga or Katy or Ke$ha has a 'challenging' new bra.
Some whitewashed, plaster cast and split mirror monolith - which bleeds out from the ground like a sparkly STD.
Inside it had, like, frescos of Batman and Angry Birds. I shit you not.
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| Whisky distilled through the corpse of a King Cobra. I also drank some tiger penis concoction. Casual. |
In Lao's, they offer you whisky distilled (via various animal carcasses).
The snake.
The turtle.
The tiger.
The armadillo.
The whole gang's here.
Mostly my tour was full of 'gay fags' who wouldn't touch any of the exotic alcoholols. I sampled all those situations. As I do so, my eyes meet with this beautiful sister from Japan. She sports one of those long, flowing oriental robes.
This Italian bro on the tour with us says that I have the yellow fever.
I don't say that he has the shit taste in the music. I can hear it leak through his headphones. Think stereotypical Euro pop with the boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss boom tsss.
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| The village where the Long Neck live. Personally, I think that it's all for show and they live in regular houses miles away. |
Anyways - later I feed some sick kitten some food which this one robbed from the buffet. This cements the bond that this Japanese woman and this one share. 'Turns out that sister's coming to study in the UK later this year to do some masters degree in law or something.
O rly?
Very nice indeed.
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| The little bro who opened a hundred doors. |
WHAT HAVE WE LERNED?
- Does anyone know why Google Chrome and Google search have different spell check algorithms? Seems like they should be the same.
- The Long Neck necklace things are heavy. At least 2kg.
- Broads love kittens. Marc, we were right.
- Whisky with dead animals and stuff tastes pretty much the same as without dead animals and stuff.
- Package tours are a great 'foot in the door' but also pretty fail.
- Originally, the Long Neck broads wore the necklaces to protect them from tiger bites. Now, it's mostly for teh lols.
- It's almost rude not to drink booze from the hotel mini bar. A big bottle of beer costs £1.60ish. Win.
- That is all.
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