DJANGO UNCHAINED

Nigger. Nigger. Nigger.
Nigger. Nigger. Nigger.
Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Y'see, my name's Quentin Tarantino and I was just going over the script for my edgy, exciting, confrontational, and edgy new film - Django Unchained.

This is the poster. There's blood in the
 background (but it's not real shhh).

It's the touching story of 2 bros who are bounty hunters or something. Bounty hunters are cool. And edgy. One of them's a black man (but I decided to call them 'niggers', coz it's confrontational and edgy hehe lol).

Anyways, the niggerest of the 2 bros wants to get his wife back from Leonardo DiCaprio - who's in absolutely top form. I've talked it over with him and we've both agreed that he should do his angry shouty head thing. Y'know, when he's all crazy and shit and sometimes spit comes out of his mouth and goes down his chin because he's so angry. Actors call that serious business and they do it when they need to act crazy and shit.

This is a really great example of Leo acting crazy and shit.
He has a gun and everything. Careful, y'all!

So I got sooo carried away with making things legit and being confrontational and edgy that I kind of forgot to make the film make sense :( sadface. But that doesn't really matter because it's all about the dialogue, y'know? Edgy dialogue. Y'all remember when I made the major motion picture, Reservoir Dogs? Or Pulp Fiction? There's memorable scenes where the characters chat a lot of shit about a lot of shit. This is called 'a monologue.' Or 'fucking gay.' 

People don't talk like that in real life. 

In fact, thinking about it, a lot of stuff that happens in my films wouldn't happen in real life. 

Some people call this my unique direction and style but the joke's on them 'cos it's mostly just BS. The quality of my work started to fall apart towards the second film in the Kill Bill trinity. (doubleinity? duo? 'Not sure what just 2 films are called hehe lol.)

Now I just say, "Fuck it" and make it up as I go along. I'm in a really great position where I can just put out any old tat and everybody loves it. Feelsgoodman.jpg.

I get to write myself into scenes like this, too
haha lol.

Anyways, like I was saying (typing hehe lol) in Django Unchained they want to get Jamie Foxx's wife back. Well that's the plan - but things don't go smoothly :) happyface! 

Instead of just going and getting her directly, I wrote the characters into a series of situations to create tension and more situations. This is called a 'plot contrivance'. Or 'padding'. Or 'BS'. 

I don't want to ruin the ending for you but the ending isn't very good. Sorry, y'all :( sadface. 

It's basically 3 hours of me standing in front of a mirror stroking every inch of my penis. 

Pleasuring myself. Indulging myself. Being an visionary and an confrontational.

You can come and watch and celebrate me.

Or not. Y'know. Whatever. 

Peace out, niggers. xoxo

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