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Sunday, 7 April 2013

07/04/2013 - THE IDEAL NIPPLE TO AREOLA RATIO

As self-aware content consumers living our lives both OTI and IRL / AFK, we must always be striving to solidify our situation.

We must:

  • Undermine middle-management and co-workers we dislike.
  • Cyberbully others we meet online, who we suspect are less technically proficient / self-aware than us.
  • Illegally download torrents.
  • 'Learn stuff'.

Of course, you don't need me to tell you this.

Today, I think it's 'fucking high time' we learn some stuff.

From what I understand, breasts are serious business; girls want to have them (to be popular / liked), and men want to touch them (to 'cum'). 

Sort of feel like we don't really understand them.

For example, we all know how much 'meat' should be in a Subway BMT - but does anyone know how much areola should frame the nipple on a breast?



Some peace-and-love kind of niggas will say, "It's all down to an individual's personal taste, man."

As we know - this is completely incorrect. Dangerously so. Diversity is destroying us. We (as a species) must all agree on a subject as one and then brutally 'stamp out' any conflicting opinions. 

Just want everyone to put their weapons down and get along ffs.

"Give peace a chance, niggas." - Seems like something John Lennon would say? Not sure :-( sadface.

Just think we need a solid formula to calculate the breast to areola ratio. 

As you know, I'm not a scientist, but I think the formula should sort of look like this:

 (   ) + ( . ) / ( ? ) = ( o )

(   ) = bewb size
( . ) = nipple size
( ? ) = random shit, like piercings / ethnicity / fake bewb, etc
( o ) = areola size
(bewb size + nipple size / random shit = areola size)

Does this look 'right' to you? I'm just trying to sort this situation out.

Do you reckon that I'll be able to secure The National Lottery funding for this project? Be honest?
Do you prefer small bewbs or large ones?
Realistically, is 'anything more than a handful a waste'?
Are you a scientist / mathematician willing to help me - and if so - do you look like Denise Richards in The World Is Simply Not Enough (For J. Bond)  or moar like some pharmacist in Boots?
What are 'puff-nips'?

Gtg.
<3 heart symbol



6 comments:

  1. Anonymous7/4/13

    As self-aware content consumers living our lives both OTI and IRL / AFK, we must always be striving to solidify our situation.

    Ive read this sentence a few times and i actually agree. Am i going mad?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7/4/13

    I felt the same thing mate :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're opinions really count, anons. 'Keep up the good work'. xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous15/4/13

    No nips > puff nips.

    Burger Nips > No Nips

    Therefore Burger puff nips = end of time?

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's a really solid point very well made, anon. Proud of you. <3 heart symbol.

    ReplyDelete