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Saturday, 6 April 2013

06/04/2013 - 1ST WORLD PROBLEMS - MOBILE INTERNETS

In our continual efforts to become better humans / savvy internet users - I feel that it's important for us to firstly, congratulate ourselves upon being successful members of the '1st world' - and secondly, try to overcome some of the very real dangers that we face as successful members of the '1st world'.

 "Rejoice.
For you are the lucky one. The chosen one.
Born with a (metathorical) Silver Spoon. 
Rejoice!" - A magnificent Haiku © 2013

 This is part 1 of a __ part series on 1st World Problems. 

 Just really want to explore / challenge the situations, which we face as savvy content consumers making our way in the 1st World.

 "We did not ask to be born into comfort.
Ours is a heavy cross to bear.
(This is also a metaphor.)" Another simply stunning Haiku ©

Let's get 'down to business', niggas.

 Obvs, one of the 'basics' we need to live our modern lives correctly in the 1st World is a broadband internet connection. From what I understand, it's the key thing which separates 'us' from 'them'. 

 For example, in England we enjoy nutritious __MB broadband across the bulk of the country. 

 I 'came' across this helpful diagram:


Countries which are 'sort of crap' (like Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, and of course Poland) don't even understand what broadband is - let alone how it can take their collective lives to such great heights. 

 From understanding your stock portfolio, to illegally downloading content, to social networking, to reading snarky blogspots, to facilitating the ability to 'cum' - the internets has 'got your back'.

 But when we're 'on the go' - we need to rely on sometimes primitive mobile internets.

 Worried.

 From what I understand, you have the following possibilities when playing 'Russian Roulette' with YOUR internet connection:

  • H - The best.
  • 3G - Okay.
  • G - Okay but also a bit 'shit'.
  • E - 'Shit'.
(I don't know what the letters or numbers stand for :-( sadface.)

"We need to contact our Local MPs / Community Support Officers / County Councils / Religious Leaders and BE HEARD." - Call to Arms. (Plz make this your Facebawks status if you agree and what to see serious change. Tnx xoxo.)

 Just want to live in a world were I don't have to worry about 'H' mobile internet coverage ffs >:( angryface.
Is that too much to ask?
(That question is rhetorical / spam the comments for serious and intellectuality discussion.)

Are Community Support Officers like work experience Police Officers?
Should we prioritise nationwide 'H' mobile internets coverage?
Over education?
Over the NHS?
Over other 'boring stuff'?
When your phone reads 'E', do you think 'Fuck'?
Is Poland the worse country in the whole of the European Union, and just by being in the EU, lowers the overall quality and respectability of the EU on the 'Global Stage'?

Today has been brought to you by 1st World Problems. 
'Tune in next week' for moar 1st World Probs and their solutions.

xoxo



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