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Saturday, 27 April 2013

1STWP - WHY IS IT WHEN YOU ARE NOT DRINKING EVERYONE WANTS A SITUATION, HMMM?

(1STWP is an 'exciting' feature where we explore 1st World Problems. As technologically-savvy and self-aware members of the 1st World, the dangers we face can seem overwhelming at times. Together - we can cope.)

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 Sort of feeling a little _____ atm.

 "I am thinking I need some time,
'off the front line'.
Some R & R. (That means Rest and Relaxation.)
I need some zzz, niggas." - An ancient Haiku from WW2.


My feels are deflated and my penis is flaccid. 
From what I understand, it is important to look after yourself / your situation. 
Feeling like I need to metaphorically slow down.

 Maybe I need a spa day?
Do you know of any sites like Groupon / MyVoucherCodes which offer cheap spa days?
(They will probs be a .org or .net.)
Is a spa day an effective way to 'reboot' your stale relationship - or is it an admission of complete failure and incompatibility and time to euthanise your stale relationship?

 The thing is, my nigs - as soon as you decide to have a quiet couple of nights in every Tom, Dick, and Harry comes out of the woodwork and wants a situation. 

 Going to have to learn to say, "NO!" 
Going to have to take a stand. (Metaphor.) 
Going to have to draw the line. (Metaphor.)
Going to have to 'pretend that I left my phone in my coat pocket, which was downstairs, which was why I missed your call.' (Lie.)

 Today has been brought to you by 1st World Problems.
(I'm also really interested in platonic spooning atm. If anyone fancies some platonic spooning - I have a bed, a cat, and some MP3s of soothing Amazon rainforest noises.)

 x (1 kiss.)
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