nRelate Posts and Homepage

Tuesday 23 April 2013

MAJOR MOTION PICTURE - JACK REACHER

I'm just watching the major motion picture, Jack Reacher starring Tom Cruise atm. 
Sort of feel that this movie is 'textbook' Cruise.
Sort of feel that this movie is more than just that though. 
I believe that it is a cry for help.

Obvs, I do not know Papa Cruise - but if I had to guess I would say that this film is 100% how he sees himself IRL.

#worried.

I'm worried that T. Cruise is living in a 'fucking dreamworld' where he is some kind of living weapon / brainy clever clogs nigga / womaniser / kung fu monster / bad dude mofo / outlaw G. 
(^^^ Many of these aspirations are similar to a 12 year old boys understanding of the world.)

Sort of feel like T. Cruise is some kind of sad, Peter Pan type character.
He's the 'boy that never grew up'.




Whereas most 12 year old boys 'grow up' and realise that they probs won't manage to secure a job as an assassin or international space marine, eventually settling down with a plain wife and a steady job in a 'fucking bullshit' industry like retail or customer service, T. Cruise probs has enough £££ to do whatever the eff he wants.
I believe that his career lets him vicariously live a life of fantasy, adventure, and casual 'murder' on the big screen; allowing him to leave behind his worries - like being a single parent, cyberbulling from the media, and push-ups.
I believe that this is down to him 'having mad bank' and also him having no one around to say, "Tom. Just chill out, nigga. You're losing it."
Sort of respect his dedication to chasing his dream to such great heights.
Sort of worry about his overall mental health and 'grip on reality'.

Shame on you, Tom.


At 1 point, he wins a 1 v 5 fight. 
At 1 point, he gets his dome smashed up by a baseball bat but seems pretty relaxed about the whole situation.
At 1 point, he moves faster than some bad guy can pull the trigger (gun).
In addition - he is an expert at solving crime / every woman in the film gives him her 'sexy face' / he is compassionate / he is a 'murderer' / he has no possessions / has numerous mad skills / is a nomad / is wealthy / is _____.
Seems legit.

Do you think hanging out with Papa Cruise for the day would be:

a) Excellent. Chilling with A List celebs and getting lots of respect. Probs get to 'cum' with hawt starlets looking for a break and you'd all hang out in Miami?
b) Good. Lots of perks but you'd probs have to watch your mouth and agree with everything T. says, even if it's 'insane' or 'boring zzz'?
c) Okay. Bit confusing. Bit demoralising, as no one would talk to you and everyone would talk to Tom Cruise :-( sadface? (Probs play Nintendo Wii at some point.)
d) Bad. T. Cruise would bully you and constantly undermine your situation in front of co-workers and mutual friends? (Might throw things at you :'-( sadface with tear.)
e) Effing Awful. Something to do with Scientology / babysitting his kid while he goes out without you / 'murder' / Knight and Day film?




Anyways, I hope that everyone enjoys this movie. (It's a bit like the major motion picture This Mission's Impossible but also a bit like the board game Cluedo.) <<< If you like either of those things then you'll totes <3 this film :-) happyface.

x kiss parentheses x


3 comments:

  1. Anonymous28/4/13

    He's shit, even before he got his teeth fixed circa 'Legend'. He's always been shit, little man sydrome midget with big pretend wives. Shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28/4/13

      Some excellent points very well made, anon. Sort of feel that Papa T needs to come to terms with his height and move on. xx

      Delete
  2. Anonymous24/6/13

    "He is Knight. She is Day. Together they are Knight and Day". I literary just spat my drink all over my screen. +5

    ReplyDelete